Hope for the Helpless (13 Years Later)

 

Not having control of a situation can be incredibly frustrating. Congested traffic, the weather, and unforeseen health issues can cause so much stress in this life. I don't know about you, but I can certainly be a control freak! I want things to go according to my plan. I know what's best for my life, right? Eh...

First of all, I know that I am blessed. I have a loving and supportive family, a beautiful house, a healthy marriage, and a steady income. God doesn't owe me anything. Instead, I owe Him everything! Yet, He continues to bless me.

So why do I get frustrated with God and give Him grief every time things don't go according to my plan? It's so easy to focus on the pain when it's right in front of you. When we're hit with something unexpected all we can focus on is how we feel in that moment. Suddenly, we've lost sight of the big picture. That's where God comes in. He sees the big picture, we don't.

When Jessie was in her accident on Sunday, January 23, 2000, and I wasn't there to take care of her, I felt like I failed as a best friend. When she passed away a week later on Sunday, January 30th and she never even knew that I had gone to visit her (virtually every day), I felt like I had failed her once more.

I was mad at Jessie the last time we spoke. We were at youth group and she had brought some school friends to our weekly meeting at Parker Road. After our evening of games and a devotional lead by our youth leader, Harold, Jessie invited some friends to go snowmobiling at her house. I was not invited.

How dare she not invite me? I'm her best friend!

Jealousy burned inside of me and I wanted Jessie to know. So when it was time to say good bye, I ignored her.

A group of us were standing in the main entrance of the church building. My arms were crossed as I fought back tears of frustration. Seriously, how could she not invite me?

Jessie approached me and placed her hands on my shoulders.

"Hey," she called out. I looked at her. "I'll call you tomorrow."

I looked away. "Whatever," I snapped back with a bitter attitude as I rolled my eyes.

We stood there in silence. I didn't know what else to say to her. I was so disappointed.

"Hey," she called out once more. I looked at her. "I love you." And with those words she pulled me in for a hug and I hugged her back.

"I love you too."

Ugh! Why did she have to say that? How I can I stay mad at her? I just really hate that she didn't invite me.

Our hug ended and I went to my car. My sister (Kathleen) and our friend (Dan M.) followed. We sat in the car and I watched Jessie drive past me in her family's green van. Her hands lifting up and down in a "raise the roof" motion. A fire lit inside me and my anger had returned. I thrust the car into drive and peeled out of the parking lot, blasting the radio in frustration.

Before we even got to Dan's house I had calmed down and turned down the radio. Then, by the time Kathleen and I got home, I was over it.

Fine, Jessie can call me tomorrow. We don't have school so maybe we can do something. That's probably why she said she'd call.

Kathleen and I were downstairs on the sofa bed watching Now and Then when the phone rang. I checked the Caller ID and noticed that it was a woman from our church, Carla. Whenever she called it was for my mom -- my mom followed Carla on our church's prayer chain phone tree.

Kathleen answered. "Mom!" she called out. "It's for you!"

My mother picked up a phone in another room and Kathleen stayed on the line for a moment, listening to their conversation. As Kathleen quietly hung up the phone she looked at me with a little concern. "It's about a Troyer," she whispered.

Oddly, I thought nothing of it and we returned to our movie.

Minutes later, the phone rang again. It was Carla. It's really late for prayer chain to be calling. Yet, I still thought nothing of it.

My mom jotted down her notes from Carla and she hung up the phone. I happen to walk by.

"Karolyn," she called out and I walked over to my mom. "Do you know anything about some kids going snowmobiling tonight?"

"Jessie was going with some friends after youth group," I calmly replied.

"Well," she started as she looked at me with some concern, "there has been an accident."

My heart stopped.

"Jessie and Vince hit a tree," she carefully explained. I gasped in horror. "Vince is okay, he just spoke with his mom, but Jessie is unconscious. She's on her way to the hospital right now."

I was upset and terrified! I paged my friend Bob (three times), who I knew was with Jessie, but he never called me back. My stomach got all twisted.

Later that evening, our phone rang for the third time. It was Carla. My mom was in the shower, so my dad took the call. I starred at him while he nodded his head and said the occasional "Okay" as he took in Carla's news.

He hung up the phone and didn't look at me.

"Dad, what's wrong?" I quietly begged.

Silence.

"Dad!" I called out louder. "What's wrong?"

The bathroom door opened and my dad flew up the stairs to meet with my mom. They stood in their bedroom and I watched from the hallway. My dad spoke quietly with his back to me, so I couldn't hear a word he was saying. Suddenly, my mom's eyes widened and she looked me. I started to cry.

"Can somebody please tell me what's going on?"

My mom walked over to me and sat me on her bed. She put her arm around me and pulled me close.

"Karolyn," she spoke as calmly as she could, "Jessie isn't doing very well. She's not responding to the doctors."

"What do you mean she isn't responding?!" I sobbed uncontrollably.

What happened? How could Jessie be hurt this badly? God won't take her away. He wouldn't. He knows better than that. She's only 17. She'll be fine.

My dad called back Carla and checked to see where Jessie was. With zero hesitation, the four of us piled into our mini van and made our way to the hospital.

Upon arrival we were stopped by a security guard.

"We're here to see Jessica Troyer," my mom announced as my sister and I stood behind her and my dad.

The guard looked at us and said that he couldn't let us through.

My mom grabbed me by my coat and shoved me in front of the guard. "This is her best friend! Please, let us through!"

The guard looked at me and I starred right back at him with my puffy, blood-shot eyes. He made a phone call. We waited.

"You can go through," he finally announced.

Relieved, we said our thank yous and continued until we found Jessie's family and some friends gathered in and around the hospital chapel.

We all sat there, completely helpless. There was nothing any of us could do.

The hour was well past midnight and Jessie had become stable. Folks started to head home to rest and eventually I went home with my family as well.

The week that followed was filled with endless distractions, plenty of scary moments, and the most helpless feeling I have ever experienced.

On Saturday, January 29th Jessie had a "bad" night. On Sunday, January 30th our church service was abruptly canceled so our pastor, his wife, and two other men from our church could go and be with the Troyer family -- my father made arrangements so I could join them.

At the hospital, Jessie was scheduled to have some tests done to see if there was any brain activity. I stood in the hallway anxiously waiting for more information.

My family arrived.

I stood in the hallway, just outside the ICU waiting room, when Jessie emerged from the ICU and rolled past me with her doctors.

"Was that her?" my mom asked.

"Yes," I quietly replied.

"Go and stand with her," she lovingly suggested.

I followed closely behind Jessie, not saying a word. I stood with her and the doctors as they waited for the elevator. A nurse looked at me and gave me a sad smile.

The elevator arrived and Jessie was rolled inside. I stood there and kept my eyes on her until the doors closed and the elevator moved.

When Jessie returned, I watched her roll by the ICU waiting room. Then (I swear!) she looked at me! Tears filled my eyes and I chased after her. I stopped just outside the ICU and watched as she rolled away.

Jessie, please don't leave me.

We were supposed to get results in a couple of hours, so I gave my parents permission to go home and work on dinner for the Troyer family. The results were in shortly after they left.

Jessie's parents were taken into a small waiting room and were in there for about 45 minutes. A man left the room and returned with a brief case. My heart sank.

When Melanie and Floyd entered the ICU waiting room, everyone who wasn't there for Jessie left. Melanie was looking up and the ceiling the whole time. My eyes were fixed on her. Then, she lowered her head and looked right at me. We made eye contact and she immediately looked away. My stomach felt sick as my heart began to pound.

She can't even look at me. This can't be good.

Melanie struggled to speak. "The results are in." She began to sob. "And they're not what we had hoped for..."

Jessie was showing no signs of brain activity. Our Jessie was gone.

Shortly after Jessie's immediate family took their time to visit with her, Melanie came and asked if I would like to see Jessie.

I nodded.

"Would you like anyone to come with you?" she asked in a gentle tone.

"I'd like to go alone," I quietly replied.

Melanie led me back to Jessie's room in the ICU. I walked through the door and there she was, my beautiful best friend of over ten years! Jessie had tubes and monitors in and all around her. She laid there, completely helpless, but her beauty remained.

I walked up to Jessie's left side and ran my finger tips up and down her forearm. In that moment, I didn't know what else to do.

Melanie came up behind me and grabbed my shoulders. "She really can't feel anything right now, so I like to just grab her arm and give it a good squeeze." Melanie demonstrated as she spoke and then looked at me and smiled. I smiled back and Melanie stepped away.

I took a hold of Jessie's arm and it was warm. I leaned in and spoke to Jessie. I brought up old memories and future plans that would never happen. I promised to keep her secrets and to always cherish our friendship. Tears filled my eyes as I begged her to watch over me! Last, I leaned close to her ear and whispered these words...

So many memories and so many miles
the road that stretches behind us
We've had some laughter and our share of tears
But all these moments unite us

I'll be your friend for a lifetime
Against the wind and the rain of every season
Won't walk away in the hard times
I will be your friend
I'm saying I will be your friend

("I Will be Your Friend" by Michael W. Smith)

Then, my eyes met with hers. Her eyes were partially open and wet from some recent eye drops. I felt like I hit a wall running at a 100 miles per hour. She was gone and in that moment I lost all hope.

The days and weeks that followed Jessie's death left me feeling angry and hollow. There's a piece of me that is missing and I prayed that God would just take me too. How could I go on living without my best friend?

I should've just asked her if I can go snowmobiling, instead of waiting for a personal invite -- she would've let me. To this day, I still struggle with my last moments with Jessie.

Why did I have to be mad at her?

Melanie and my friends who were there that night remind me, "God didn't want you there." I have no memory of what Jessie looked like just after her accident. By the grace of God, I was spared. Scripture says God only gives us what we can handle. I guess I wouldn't have been able to handle the aftermath of Jessie's accident.

Today, it has been 13 years since Jessie has gone home to be with the Lord and her anniversary still hits me like a ton of bricks. I don't feel 13 years older. Has it really been that long? The sights, the sounds, and the emotions of that dreadful day stay with me like a painful scar. On most days I'm fine, but sometimes the wound feels fresh and I break down as if it all happened yesterday.

I miss her laugh! I miss her smile! I miss the way she would call me about every little thing -- and I miss how she would immediately dive into conversation as soon as she heard my voice pick up on the other line. I miss the way we could read each other's mind. I miss our impromptu dance parties and late-night sleepovers. I miss hearing the bass of her family's van thumping as it pulled onto my street -- "Jessie's here!". I miss singing with her in the car. I miss baking our own, personal creations. I miss exchanging notes even though we didn't go to the same school. I miss pulling pranks with her at youth group. But most of all, I miss hearing her say my name and telling me that she loves me, her best friend.

13 years later and my life has had so many significant moments. I've graduated from high school and college, gotten married, bought a house, and started a career. I am blessed to have a family that still lets me share the same Jessie stories over and over and over, I have a husband who asks me, "How would Jessie take care of you?" when he's not sure what to do, and I have the opportunity to help raise funds for the Something from Jessie Memorial Scholarship. I am blessed!

I know I'll see Jessie again. I have hope in God's promises. Hope seems to be the theme for this month. Within the last two weeks I've had these two verses keep popping up all around me...

"Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer." Romans 12:12

"May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope." Romans 15:13

Faith and hope are not always easy, but with prayer you'll get stronger. God wants to carry us through our darkest times. In my life He has done just that and He continues to carry me as I face a new set of trials.

He sees the big picture, we don't. He knows what's best, we don't. Haven't you ever had an idea but someone came to you with a better idea? Trust God. He has a better idea because He sees the big picture and He wants to guide you.

Home for Good by Jessica Keller

I have been blessed to know Jessica Keller since I was in elementary school. We met at camp and attended the same summer camp through high school -- and back then, keeping in touch meant exchanging home addresses and taking the time to hand-write a letter and send it via snail mail. Later, during our high school/college/young adult years, we worked together at the very same camp. During those precious summers, her and I have shared some deep conversations and together we cried tears of joy when we realized, during one week of junior high camp, that all of our campers had accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior.

"We don't have to worry about any of our campers." She struggled to speak as the tears quickly filled her eyes.

We hugged and we praised God. I'll never forget that moment.

In college, Jessica and I spent quite a bit of time IMing through AOL Instant Messenger (AIM). I still remember when she told me, "I think you know my boyfriend... Matt...".

Sure enough, I did. Matt and I have known each other since Kindergartner. What a small world!

After my sister and I attended their wedding, Jessica sent us a thank you card with a message that I will never forget. Among her beautiful thank you message, she noted, "You two were the only ones at our wedding who knew us as individuals before we even knew each other."

What a poetic observation! I felt special and I've continue to cherished the opportunity to watch Jessica and Matt journey through life together.

When Jessica announced that she was going to write a book my first thought was, I don't know what it's about and I already want to read it. Jessica has always been blessed at writing and public speaking, so writing a book just seem to make perfect sense.

By observing her various Facebook statuses, I "watched" from a distance as she took her time to carefully consider every detail that went into her story -- and my excitement grew. Writer's block, survey questions, and re-writes were among her status updates. Her hard work was evident in each and every one of those brief comments/announcements. I could feel the warmth of her passion as she lovingly put her heart into writing this book.

On Thursday, January 17th, the moment had finally arrived. A small package sat in my mailbox. It displayed my name as the recipient and Jessica's by the return address. I (literally!) ripped open the package like a kid on Christmas morning and squealed with delight as I showed my husband (Dan) Jessica's book, Home for Good.

 

 

"It's here!" I proudly announced.

He playfully laughed at me as he came over to observe the book.

"I get to read Jessica's book!"

In case you don't know me personally, I have four jobs. One full-time job, two part-time, and one unpredictable freelance gig. In between work, I also volunteer as a worship leader at my church, facilitate the young adults (college+) weekly small group (at my house), and assist with the junior and senior high youth group. Lastly, throw in a hyper, 4-month-old Chihuahua (mix) rescue puppy and... yeah... I'm a busy girl. I didn't want to wait too long to begin Jessica's book, so I carried it with me and left it out in plain sight to serve as a friendly reminder: Once I have a spare moment, I am reading this book!

A break in my hectic schedule finally arrived last week when I squeezed in the time to start chapter one. Time's up! The next day I resumed my reading by consuming chapter two. Time's up! Puh-lease... you have got to be kidding me!

 

Friday night snuck up on me like a pleasant surprise and after a much-needed date night with my husband, I slipped into my freshly washed bed sheets, turned on the light on my side of our bed, and placed Home for Good on my nightstand. After our nightly routine of chit-chat and prayer, Dan cuddled with our puppy (Jetta) and quickly fell asleep. I, on the other hand, fluffed my pillows and pulled the covers over my chest as I prepared to continue reading Home for Good.

 

The hours quickly passed as I flew through the pages. With each passing chapter I found myself turning the pages faster and faster. My eyes grew tired and I refused to look at the time. I don't care what time it is, I can sleep in tomorrow. My eyelids gradually got heavier and heavier and I found myself thinking, Just one more chapter... several times.

 

Okay, tired eyes, you win. At this point I noticed that I was almost half way through the book as I placed it back on my nightstand and turned off the the light. A gentle smile stayed with me as I hugged my pillow and thought about the romantic struggle between Ali and Jericho.

 

The next morning I was woken up by a energetic puppy who was eagerly seeking a playmate. I gave Jetta some attention and took her outside for a potty break. Upon returning to bed, I found Dan was still sleeping. Perfect!

 

I slipped back in to bed and reopened Home for Good. There was just enough sunlight to read without any additional light. Once Jetta calmed down and curled up next to me, it was time to resume my reading.

 

A few chapters later, Dan woke up. I kept reading. One more chapter... One more chapter... One more chapter... it continued.

 

I was amazed at how easily I got lost in the story! I could picture Ali Silver's farmhouse and the entire town of Bitterroot Valley. I felt emotional as the story deepened and, quickly, I got carried away with the characters. Every sight, every sound, every smell, and every touch came to life. Each of my senses came alive as Jessica's carefully chosen words made my mind's eye burst with images. Jessica, I cannot put this book down!

 

The weekend was rapidly coming to an end and I noticed that I was getting close to finishing Home for Good. No! I don't want it to end. I'm not ready. So I slammed on the brakes as I began to slow down my reading. I want to savor these finals chapters.

 

Last night, I enjoyed another late night read as the number of unread pages grew slimmer and slimmer. I could easily finish tonight. But no, I couldn't bring myself to know how Ali and Jericho's story ends. Much like a great movie or a fun-filled vacation, I hate to see this story come to an end.

 

Wide awake, I placed the book on my nightstand and turned off the light. I started to debate what to do next.

 

You have to finish eventually.

 

I know.

 

You can always read it again.

 

I'm sure I will.

 

Will you finish tomorrow?

 

Probably.

 

Probably? How long do you think you can hold off? You know you want to know how it ends.

 

You're right. You're absolutely right!

 

There! It's settled. You will finish tomorrow.

 

Fair enough.

 

The last couple of chapters sit inside Home for Good, taunting and teasing me as the bitter-sweet conclusion rests between the paperback binding. I have come to adore this story and beautiful message it offers. Not only is it heartwarming, romantic, and very well-written, but it also offers a message of faith, hope, and the power of forgiveness. There is encouragement within the pages and a subtle personal challenge for readers to evaluate their own walk with God. Challenge accepted.

 

Personally, I admire and appreciate a movie, television show, or book that can share a great story without filling my mind with foul language, nudity, and crude behavior. These days, many producers and writers seem to believe that in order to successfully entertain us they are required to fill our imaginations with so much junk, it's discouraging.

 

Jessica's book is refreshing and perfect proof that you don't need senseless violence, detailed sex scenes, and vulgar language to fill a story and make it exciting and enjoyable. All it takes is great, creative writing. Mission accomplished, Jessica -- and thank you!

 

While I cannot testify my final thoughts on this book, please return to this post for a definite update. No need to worry, I won't be revealing anything about the ending, but I will post my complete impression on this book, once I officially conclude my reading.

 

Home for Good is available in paperback (January 22, 2013) or in Kindle edition (February 1, 2013).

UPDATE (1/30/13):
Last night, it happened. I finished Home for Good! It was a bitter-sweet moment as I took in those final chapters -- carefully reading each and every word to drag out the highly anticipated ending.

It was nighttime. Dan and I sat up in bed, each of us doing our own thing. He was on his computer and cell phone (doing some sort of updates) while I finished my book. I only had two chapters to go, so I finished before Dan had the chance to fall asleep.

I read everything -- including Jessica's personal message to her readers. Then, with a quiet sigh, I closed the book, placed it back on my nightstand, and turned off the light.

I turned on my left side and tapped Dan on his right shoulder. He turned over to face me.

"Did you finish your book?"

"Yes," I said with a playful pout. I still couldn't believe it was over -- I wanted more.

"And how was it?"

"So good!" I replied with silly smile stretched across my face.

From beginning to end, Home for Good offers twists and turns that kept this reader wanting more. There are plenty of surprises and pleasantly predictable moments. It is an easy read and could easily be enjoyed by readers of all ages. It's a good, clean romance novel.

Parents, you don't have to worry about your teens reading this book. In fact, I'd encourage them to read it! While no relationship is perfect, there is a lot of good that can be taken from Ali and Jericho's story. I would suggest reading it before your children so you can have discussions on what makes a healthy, God-centered relationship. Jessica even provides discussion questions in the back of the book to spark conversation.

If you want to read a book filled with romance, adventure, cowboys, and sneaky villains, Home for Good is your book.

In conclusion, I have a crush on Jericho Freed.

Influenster and Ferrero Rocher Hazelnut Chocolates

Last week I received my first official Vox Box from Influenster! This was very exciting! I had no idea what to expect. All I knew was I getting a "2012 Holiday Treat" -- yum! I was pleasantly surprised when I received a beautiful gift box of Ferrero Rocher Hazelnut Chocolates! I received this product complimentary for testing and review purposes from Influenster. Thank you, Influenster!

Here are my thoughts regarding my golden moment with Ferrero Rocher...

1. The presentation for the chocolates makes a super easy hostess gift! It clean, simple and quite festive. The packaging appropriately represents the chocolates on the inside -- fancy.

2. There were 18 neatly wrapped chocolates inside the decorative box -- a decent amount of chocolates to make it a nice hostess/teacher/etc. gift. The individually wrapped chocolates make it easy to place them out for guests to enjoy and you don't have to worry about multiple hands touching them.

3. The chocolates themselves are tasty, but not my favorite. The texture had a pleasant crunch while the chocolate taste was a little boring on my end. Does this mean I would pass on these at a party or be disappointed if I got them as a gift? No, not at all. They're certainly decent chocolates, I just happen to prefer other chocolates before Ferrero Rocher, that's all.

Be sure to LIKE Ferrero Rocher on Facebook and you can send a virtual gift to family and friends -- I already did. By sending a Virtual Gift you can let them know you are thinking of them this holiday season and you'll receive an entry into their sweepstakes for a chance to win one of several hundred 18-piece boxes of Ferrero Rocher chocolates! Click on The Ferrero Rocher Virtual Gift Sweepstakes to enter.

Ferrero Rocher chocolates can be purchased at most grocery, drug and mass merchandiser stores.
SPOTTED: $8.99 at CVS (7.9 ounces)

Influenster and Dino Lingo

Recently, *Influenster introduced me to a series of language learning programs for kids. It's called Dino Lingo and it is a video series that teaches children several different languages - French, Italian, German, Russian... the list goes on. While the mixed graphics may annoy this adult, I'm sure it won't be an issue for a child. Truth be told, I can see myself enjoying the series of videos in effort to learn another language. I've always wanted to learn French or Italian, so if I can block out the fact that graphic style changes constantly, I could see myself watching this to pick up some foreign language experience. The videos are very basic and they're rather easy to follow, so I'm sure children will cheerfully pick up on what they're being taught. Seriously though, who wouldn't love to hear their little child say "Merci bocu, Mommy!" and other simple French phrases? Too cute! Dan knows German, so I'm sure he wouldn't mind being able to speak in German with our children from time to time. It's certainly worth considering.

 

*Disclaimer: I viewed this clip complimentary through Influenster.

Thanksgiving Weekend 2012

This year, Thanksgiving startled me when it unexpectedly snuck up and pounced on me. Geez, where has November gone? Well, ready or not, I embraced Thanksgiving and did my best to savor all of its activities.

Wednesday, November 21st

After work, Dan and I headed up to Wisconsin with Jetta. Jetta does much better in the car when Dan holds her -- or so it seems. So I did all the driving this weekend. It was easier this way.

When we arrived at Dan's parent's home, no one was there (which we already knew). Dan got right to work baking his sharp cheddar apple pie -- Jetta and I supervised. To get into the Thanksgiving mood, we turned on A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving and watched it from the kitchen.

Later that evening, Jetta got to meet her cousin, Jake. Jake (pit bull/lab mix, also a rescue dog) belongs to Dan's sister (Stefanie) and her husband (Thomas). He was so good with Jetta! While the two couldn't do too much to play together, Jetta really enjoyed pestering Jake -- trying to get him to chase her. Jake knew he had to be gentle with Jetta and he never even opened his mouth when she was around. At one point he even brought his ball and dropped in front of Jetta as if to say, "Here, you can play with my toy." What a sweetheart!

Thursday, November 22nd

Happy Thanksgiving! It wouldn't be a holiday morning in the Nelson home if there weren't orange rolls available for breakfast. Dan's mom (Carol) couldn't even resist -- and she hardly ever eats foods that contain high sugar and/or flour.

At about 1:00 p.m. Dan's sister (Mandy) and her husband (Cale) joined us. We munched on appetizers while we watched some football. Later, we were joined by Dan's Aunt Diane, Uncle Ralph (Carol's brother), and their grandson (Aden).

Dinner was served at 4:30 p.m. Carol prepared a lovely spread of food! Everything was delicious and the table was dressed very nicely -- I helped.

 

After dinner we cracked open some special Thanksgiving crackers that Aunt Diane brought for everyone. They delivered a boisterous pop when broken and inside were a bunch of Thanksgiving goodies -- including the super stylish hats you see in the photo below. It was a blast! Even Jake got in on the fun.

We also spent some quality time celebrating Stefanie and Carol's birthdays -- Stefanie's birthday was actually on Thanksgiving. Together, they opened gifts and later we sang Happy Birthday -- as you can see below, our Thanksgiving desserts served a double purpose.

Friday, November 23rd

I was scheduled to work at 4:30 on Black Friday morning, so we hoped to be on our way home by 8:00 p.m. Yep, we were on the road to go home by 9:00 p.m. -- we're social butterflies, what can I say.

I was in bed by about midnight and my alarm went off at 4:00 a.m. Yikes! I may not be a morning person but I do prefer getting up early and getting the work day over with. Honestly, work flew by! The first couple of hours were slow, but I got to chat with my high school friend (Peaches) who took a break from her Black Friday shopping to stop in and see me. At about 7:00 a.m. things started to pick up and 10:30 a.m. came out of nowhere. It was an easy shift, that's for sure.

When I got home Dan had the house clean and ready for our company. Just after 12:00 p.m. my parents came by for a continued Thanksgiving meal.

While I worked on dinner, we snacked on appetizers. Among the appetizers were some cranberry infused cheddar cheese and sausages that we got when we were in the U.P. So good!

At about 1:30 p.m. dinner was served! On today's menu I featured Creamy White Chicken and Artichoke Lasagna, romaine lettuce/dried cranberry/strawberry/almond salad, Pillsbury Grands, and sparkling Welch's grape juice. This was my second attempt (ever!) at making a lasagna and I was very impressed with how this one turned out. I highly recommend it! to make the meal extra special, Dan and I even used our China! Now that we're in a house, we no longer have to keep the China stored in boxes. Yay! That means it'll get used more often.

After dinner we relaxed and sipped coffee/apple cider while we enjoyed leftover desserts. It was a lovely afternoon. It was really nice to see my parents over Thanksgiving weekend.

Later that evening, Dan and I got to work decorating the house for Christmas! We turned on some Christmas movies while we dressed the house up in our Christmas decor. I love this time of year!

Jetta got into the Christmas spirit by putting on one of her Christmas sweaters. She was a busy bee and crashed on the couch before we were even done.

Saturday, November 24th

Saturday evening we got together with some of Dan's former co-workers for dinner at Aodake. Dan's former supervisor (Olga) was on her way back to Russia, so our gathering was a little good bye see you later dinner.

While out to dinner we got some exciting news, Dan's other former supervisor (Jeff) just got engaged to his lovely girlfriend (Jen)!! These newly engaged love birds weren't even engaged for 24 hours when we saw them, so the news was very fresh and we couldn't be more excited for these two! Congratulations Jeff and Jen!

Sunday, November 25th

Sunday was another busy day. First, Jetta gave us a tiny scare when we discovered she ripped into her bed during the night. There was stuffing everywhere and her belly was bloated. To play things safe, Dan took her to the emergency vet -- she was okay.

While Dan was at the vet, I went to music practice. Dan was supposed to work on A/V, so his partner (Justin) scrambled to work everything by himself during practice. Dan was also supposed to teach the Youth Group Sunday School hour, so I took his place when I was done with practice. Normally, I run through the music and slides during Sunday School, but since I was occupied I couldn't double-check everything. Yeah... things didn't exactly go smooth during the service and I felt awful. Ugh! Despite the fact that I was attempting to hold back tears at the end of the service (out of sheer embarrassment) I was still encouraged by all of the kind words folks shared with me after the service. God is good!

After church I went to work at the mall... and after working at the mall I went home to edit video. Sundays are usually very busy for me, but I made it through the day.

As expected, Thanksgiving weekend went by way too fast, but I must say, I had a wonderful holiday weekend with family and friends! I've said it before and I'll say it again: I am very blessed!

Getting Through the Fog

Yikes! This morning I woke up to very thick fog outside my house. I had a difficult time viewing the other houses in my neighborhood and driving to work was quite slow. Even as the morning progressed the fog still linguered. Not exactly ideal traveling conditions.

During my drive to work, the fog got me thinking about my walk with Christ. Sometimes, walking with Him is like walking through very thick fog -- you can only see what is around you, not what is ahead. Also, just like walking in a thick fog, you have to take your time and not rush down the path God has for you. Going too fast can result to harm or could throw you off course because you don't know what's ahead. As long as you take your time and trust the *light that is with you, you'll be fine.

I feel like I'm in a dense fog with my walk right now. Slowly and surely I am going down this unknown path with Christ, not sure where He is leading me, but I trust Him. I trust Christ but sometimes not seeing what's far ahead causes me to worry. How much longer must I wander down this path? What is my destination? No, seriously, how much longer??

Philippians 4:6 is one of my favorite verses. It says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." I know I worry way too much, but because of my faith in Christ I worry much less. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged." Truth be told, I really have no reason to worry if I've placed my faith in Christ -- I know. I try to live each day with little or no worry, but some days are harder than others.

I may not know what my future holds, but I know who holds my future! So, for now, I will continue down this unknown path, praying for wisdom and the strength to be brave. In the end, I know it will be worth it.

*"[Jesus] said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.'" John 8:12

Counting My Blessings

As I scan through the news feed on my Facebook page, I've noticed that several of my friends have decided to share something that they're thankful for, every day in November. While I haven't jumped on the bandwagon for this particular Facebook fad, I have been creating a list in my mind. Well, truth be told, I do attempt to count my blessings every day -- not just in the month of November. I am so blessed and all too often I take for granted the things God has blessed me with. So, since Thanksgiving is only a couple of days away, I thought I would list some of my blessings. I don't want this post to be forever long, so I'm going to attempt to make a "Top 10 Blessings" list.

1. My Salvation
I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, He is also the bridge between us and God. Romans 3:23 says, "For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." The penalty for sin is death. Romans 6:23 says, "For the wages of sin is death." That is exactly why we need Jesus Christ! Here is the best part... Christ died for you! Romans 5:8 tells us, "But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." You too can be saved through faith in Jesus Christ.

Trust me, having a personal relationship with Jesus Christ is life-changing! He is our direct connection to our Heavenly Father. We were created for one true purpose: to love, worship, and live for our God, our Father and Creator. I wouldn't trade my relationship with God for anything.

Begin Your Relationship With God Today- Admit that you have not met God's standard of perfection (Romans 3:23).
- Believe that Jesus Christ is God, as He claimed to be (Romans 10:9-10).
- Ask God to forgive your sins on the basis of Jesus Christ's death payment on the cross (Romans 4:25).
- Accept God's love for you (John 3:16) and His offer of eternal life.

2. My Family and Friends
I cannot begin to express what my family and friends mean to me -- there are just not enough significant words. Relationships are very important to me and if it wasn't for my family and friends I would be lost. I am blessed to have close relationships to share in the good times and feel support during the dark times. Thank you to all my family and friends for being such an important part of my life! You truly mean the world to me!

3. My Husband
Yes, of course my husband is my family, but still, he really deserves his own slot. At this point, Dan and I have been together for over eight years (non-stop), and I still look at him and think, "Wow, how did I get so blessed?" Seriously! When I think about how well Dan and I compliment each other, I can only thank God for bringing us together. While Dan and I have our share of ups and downs, I am thankful that is doesn't matter if we had an uneventful day, a big scare, or a major fight, we always come together in prayer. I absolutely love watching Dan grow with God and become a strong spiritual leader. Not just for me, but for the teens and young adults that look up to him at our church. He is a man of God and I praise the Lord that he is my husband.

4. My Church Family
While this blessing can be easily placed within My Family and Friends category, I felt that my church family deserves to be in a category all on their own. Why? Because they're an exceptional part of my life. My church family looks out for me much like they're my immediately family. I absolutely love watching my church family come together to support each other -- in both the good and bad. We celebrate together. We grieve together. We're they're for each other! I am blessed to have a church family that goes above and beyond to be the hands and feet of God.

5. My Home
Dan and I have been in our house for just over a year now and I still walk inside and feel absolute awe. I am so blessed to have such a gorgeous home! It is a home that I got to build from the ground up, a home that is in a neighborhood with wonderful and thoughtful neighbors, a home that has plenty of room for me and Dan to start a family... I can go on and on! I love my home!

6. My Jobs
Yes, plural. I have many jobs -- sometimes too many. While I work six days a week (most weeks) and some of those days I work nearly 15+ hours, I still can't help but be grateful for the work I am blessed to have. Just this past year my husband lost his job and in those dark days I felt secure knowing I had enough work to get us by -- and, of course, trusting God had a plan for us. Now that Dan has found a wonderful new job, I am thankful for God's perfect timing!

7. Our Puppy (Jetta)
Dan and I have wanted to get a pet for sometime. So when we were blessed with the opportunity to adopt a sweet rescue puppy, we were thrilled! While Jetta can test our patients while we house train her, she also brings us so much joy as she cuddles and plays with us. She is one very happy puppy! Within this category I will also say that I am very grateful that my sister (Kathleen) and brother-in-law (Brad) adopted one of Jetta's brother, whom they named Lovie. I look forward to reuniting this brother and sister duo over the coming years!

8. Photos and Video
For those of you who know me very well, this blessing probably doesn't surprise you. Photos and video have been a passion my entire life! I am grateful that I can relive memories by looking at old photos and video. It gives me a chance to laugh along with family and friends as we view these memories together, but it also gives me an opportunity to see and hear loved ones who have passed on.

9. My Car
I currently drive a 2000 Chevy Cavalier -- who goes by the name of Roxy. Considering my car's age, I am very happy that I have a nice, reliable vehicle that gets me from A to B with ease. While Roxy has some bumps, bruises, and a couple of quirks I know to to watch out for (or ignore), she still gives me a comfortable ride. So long as Roxy holds on, Dan and I will continue to have no car payments -- which is certainly an added blessing!

10. Skype/FaceTime/Video Chat
Whatever method is being used, I am very grateful that I can not only hear from family and friends, but see them as well! I have used video chat to get a tour of someone's new home, to meet and greet new family members, and to see loved ones during the holidays. It is amazing how much closer you can feel to someone when you can hear and see them. The distance apart will suddenly feel so much smaller. Considering how important family/friends/relationships are to me, this method of keeping in touch is an absolute blessings.

While my list of blessings (down to the smallest details) will be virtually endless, I hope that my Top 10 Blessings has shed some light into your heart and got you thinking about how you've been richly blessed. Take the time today (and everyday) to thank God for your many, many blessings.