Dear Parents,
We hold in our hands the future -- our precious babies. These little miracles look up to us. They depend on us to provide each and every single need that they have. It is our responsibility to help them grow into successful adults.
The other day I was thinking to myself, "How would I consider my children to be successful?" Before I answered my own question, I thought long and hard about how my daughter (and any future children I am blessed with) would make me proud. First, I thought about my daughter earning a big paycheck, owning a fancy house, and driving a flashy car. While all those things would certainly make me very happy for her (as I'm sure they're all a reflection of her hard work and dedication), I wasn't feeling super emotional. Next, I imagined my daughter going the extra mile to help a friend in need, raising funds to go on a mission trip with her church youth group, helping a stranger, volunteering in her community and so on. Imagining my daughter be so selfless and thoughtful of others made me smile -- and even got me a little misty-eyed.
When I look at my 9-month-old daughter, she is a beautiful symbol of hope. Just about everything makes her happy. She giggles and claps her hands when she watches our dog play fetch with a toy, she waves to almost everyone she sees (even if they're not looking), she makes silly faces and smiles when we play, and her eyes light up when she's about to eat her favorite foods -- right now that would be avocados and sweet potatoes. She finds joy in the simplest ways and that challenges me everyday to find joy in the little things as well.
I'll admit, my brain is cluttered with so much garbage. It's everywhere! Why do human beings get so much pleasure in the suffering of others? Why do we think it is appropriate to be rude,and impatient with others? Why do we brag about having a bitter or bad attitude? Why, oh why, do we post countless complaints on our Facebook and Twitter pages? Sometimes I want to just hide. I want to hide from all the junk this world produces and puts on display for all to see. Some days I try to hide away in my daughter's world, a place where toys light up and make music. Her world is peaceful and filled with love.
I was a happy child. I played with Barbies, My Little Pony, drew with sidewalk chalk, and watched Saturday morning cartoons. My mom has always told me that I'm happy unless someone gives me a reason to be sad -- and that is still true today.
In school, I got teased for things that were outside my control -- i.e. my hair. I'm still not sure why. I especially got teased for being a "goody-goody". Oh brother! Most of the time I was nervous when it was time to get into groups or pick a partner in class, unless I happen to have a friend in class with me. Often I sat and waited for the teacher to place me with a group of kids.
Sure, I had friends in school. In fact, the small core of friends I had I still keep in touch with -- beyond Facebook. Majority of my childhood friends came from church -- Awana, VBS, and youth group. We bonded over scripture memorization, service projects, and mission trips across the U.S. When I was 16, I spent my first summer working at a bible camp -- the same summer camp I grew up attending each summer. There, I have created some of the best relationships one could ever ask for. From these friendships I have been influenced to help others, be generous, and spread love whenever possible.
As an adult I believe that it is more important to have a small number of friends who are real, than a 1,000 friends who are fake. Children don't always see it that way. All children want to feel loved and accepted by those around them -- especially their classmates. Classmates grow up together. They eat lunch together. They go on field trips together. They spend a lot of time together. They should all be nice to each other.
NO child should have to feel sad at school, or any place for that matter. NO child should get teased because of where they live, how they dress, what color their hair/skin is, or what they even eat for lunch. It's wrong and it's hurtful.
Children are sponges. They soak up everything around them. Fellow parents, we are our children's first role model. We are the ones that they look up to and admire. Our children watch us on a daily basis, picking up a sense of what is "normal" behavior.
We should all ask ourselves questions like.......
How do I treat those around me?
Do I show respect to my server when I am out to eat?
Am I a safe driver?
What do my Facebook posts say about my passions and interests?
What type of music do I listen to when I'm with my kids? What do the lyrics say?
What type of movies do a watch around my kids? What message are these movies spreading?
Do I want to be the parent of a bully?
Do I want to be the parent of a child who loves and accepts everyone?
I know I can't watch my daughter every minute of every day and I know I can't protect her from every heartache. I just want her good days to completely outnumber her bad days. I'm hoping and I'm praying that I can be a good influence on my daughter (and on all my children). Our neighborhood has a lot of small children, and Dan and I already have a pact to hold our children accountable for their actions and to raise them to be respectful of others.
Parents, this is it! This is our chance to be a positive influence on our children. Now, I won't get into the whole nature vs. nurture debate (because I know that not every child can be easily influenced in a positive way) but I want us all to strive for peaceful, loving, and happy children. I may not be a perfect parent (or even close to one), but I will certainly put forth a solid effort -- and I hope you will join me.
Best regards,
Karolyn
PS - This video illustrates my point. Take a moment (it's only a minute video) to watch and think about what kind of example you are setting for your children.
