Growing Follicles (?!)

I'm not sure where to begin. I'm not sure if I have good news or bad news. Hmm... I have pending news, I guess.

On Monday, March 18th I had a regular doctor's appointment to see if my medications are working during this treatment. Upon my early-morning arrival, I did my usual routine of blood work followed by an ultrasound. I've seen my ultrasound enough to know exactly what I'm looking at. The ultrasound technician starts with my uterus. My lining has gone down (in size) but will go back up once I start taking estradiol again -- which I started that same day. Next, she moved over to my right ovary. I saw nothing and apparently she didn't either.

"Nothing on this side," she quietly announced as she marked the screen with various labels.

Last, she moved over to my left ovary. That was when something caught my eye.

Could those be growing follicles?!

I carefully watched the monitor as she slowed down and got a good shot at the same sight my eyes were fixed on. I held my breath. There they were! TWO follicles that looked bigger than the rest!

"It looks like we've got something growing on this side," she proudly announced.

I held back tears of joy as I felt a sudden rush of hope consume my body.

These two follicles appeared to be about 10mm. Now, 12mm is usually a good number to take to the bank. When follicles get to about 12mm they typically keep growing. Ultimately, we want to see them grow to 20mm.

The ultrasound technician was obviously pleased with what she saw but she did her best to keep me grounded -- and I appreciate that. She wanted me to understand that 10mm isn't enough to really say the treatment is officially working, but it's a step in the right direction.

"All I need is a little hope once in awhile," I replied with a smile.

I scheduled a follow-up appointment for Wednesday and left the doctor's office feeling positive and upbeat. Finally! We had a glimpse of good news. It was small, but it felt so good!

Wednesday (today) came rather quick and I was actually looking forward to my usual doctor's appointment. I walked in anticipating more good news.

Maybe they're at 12 or even 13mm by now?!

Well, after my appointment, I'm not sure what kind of news I have. My follicles are holding at 10/11mm, so it's really hard to tell if they're actually growing. He did find one on my right ovary (that wasn't detected on Monday) that seems to be growing, but again, it's hard to tell. We need a solid 12mm follicle to seriously consider moving forward with this current treatment. I'm a little discouraged by this news, but I'm holding onto my faith -- anything can happen! I just can't help but feel like my wave of good news what short lived.

I have to go back on Friday (3/22) to see if there is any growth. If things look the same as today I think we'll, once again, scratch this treatment and start over. Ugh! I hate the idea of having to start over, but I'd rather start over at this point than go through a whole treatment and have it not work. God knows my heart.

On a plus note, I haven't experienced too much discomfort or abnormalities while taking my various medications. The most common side effects are feeling full/bloated/pukey (even though I haven't eaten much), dizziness, and headaches. I had one moment this last Monday when (very suddenly!) I felt rage/anger for no reason what-so-ever. I was able to coach myself back to reality and calm myself down, but it was a scary feeling. I consider myself lucky since the side effects seem to be minimal.

If this treatment doesn't work it sounds like my doctor will, very likely, change up my medications. I still can't help but feel like we're on to something!

Now, for all my prayer warriors, here are some updated praises and prayer requests...

1. Praise! My work schedule is staying calm and under control. Lately, I've been able to enjoy evenings relaxing at home or out with friends. It is a rare and wonderful feeling! Please continue to pray that my work schedule stays manageable.

2. Please pray that my follicles continue to grow! Growing follicles are what we need to see in order to move forward in a treatment.

3. Praise! A lot of people gain weight when they're on prednisone and I haven't gained any weight! Actually, I'm still losing weight -- since I've cut out a lot of carbs, sugar, and junk. Please pray that I continue to make wise meal choices and maintain a healthy lifestyle.

4. This journey is an emotional rollercoaster. Please pray that I can keep a tight grip on my hope and faith. On my darkest days I need God's light to shine bigger and brighter so I can remember he is always there and he has a plan for me.

5. Satan is very sly. He wants nothing good for me or my family. Please pray that Satan or his demons do not interfere with any of my treatments. He knows I'm vulnerable and I don't want him dragging me down.

6. I've said it before and I'll say it again, God knows my body best! Please pray that God gives Dr. S and his team wisdom as they treat my body.

This Saturday, my church is hosting a special prayer event for women entitled Women's Concert of Prayer: Motherhood. From 10:30 a.m. to 12:00 p.m. we'll gather at Parker Road Bible Church to pray for all aspects of motherhood. No matter where you are, would you consider praying for me during that hour and a half? Set aside some time so find a quiet place and pray. You can pray with your own group or by yourself. Prayer is very powerful! Let's move some mountains!

Mothers, expecting mothers, or planning-to-be mothers, if you have any prayer requests that you would like me to lift up in prayer during this special event, feel free to share them in the comment section below. Or, if you know me personally, feel free to send me an email or private message. I would love to pray for you as well!

As always, in all circumstances, let us all cry out in worship "Blessed be the Name of the Lord!".