An Open Letter to My Husband

Photo Credit: Robb Davidson
www.robb-davidson.com

Dear Dan,

You and I have been together for over nine years and in those nine years I am still in awe of how much God has blessed our relationship. To this day, I continue to thank God for bringing you into my life. You bring so much joy into my life and I am honored to be your wife and the mother of your daughter.

Our journey to become parents hasn't been an easy one, by any means. Now, here we are, just days (?) away from meeting our daughter face-to-face and being able to hold her in our arms. As we anticipate her arrival and do our best to remain patient, I'd like to take a moment to thank you for making this significant part of our marriage extra special.

While infertility was never part of our plan, you have stood by my side every step of the way. Since we discovered that our struggle to have children lies completely within my body, not once did you place blame on my shoulders. Instead, you saw our situation as an opportunity for God to work an even greater miracle in our lives and you encouraged me. You remained positive with each and every prayer; yet you held me close and cried with me when the burden felt extra difficult to bear. Thank you for never losing faith in God's plan for us.

Your excitement and enthusiasm for our daughter's arrival absolutely melts my heart! Your willingness to make special crafts and the countless hours you've put into each and every feature of her room is very much appreciated. While my ability to assist with certain projects has been limited during my pregnancy, again, not once did you complain. Instead, you poured your heart into each and every opportunity to make her first room a place where she can feel safe, loved, and adored.

Lord knows I haven't been feeling very confident about my appearance these last couple of months. Thank you for making me feel beautiful and for expressing your feelings towards me -- not because I'm seeking your approval, but because you simply feel the desire to tell me how you feel. Your kind words have boosted my mood many times and I am grateful for your sweet and tender heart.

Registering for gifts and attending baby showers can be quite girly (especially when you're expecting a baby girl), so I'd like to thank you for your willingness to be a part of these events. Thank you for wearing pink so proudly and holding up tiny dresses and baby booties with pure excitement and joy. Sharing these moments with you have been so special for me.

While labor and delivery of our baby girl is completely on my shoulders, your willingness to attend various baby classes at the hospital has been greatly appreciated. Your interest in learning how you can better care for me during this difficult (and painful) phase helps me feel more confident about what's to come.

Dan, I really can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me and our baby these past 9+ months. You've done extra work around the house, given in to special treats and goodies just to make me smile, surprised me with gifts, made extra trips to the grocery store to ensure I was eating healthy, called the insurance company several times to work out various details... and the list goes on! Your desire to play such an active role throughout the entire pregnancy has made me feel so loved. Thank you for being such a God-fearing, hard working, loving, and honest husband. Our growing family is richly blessed to have you as our leader and provider.

With much love and respect,
Karolyn

Almost There

Photo Credit: Robb Davidson
www.robb-davidson.com

For several years, even before I met Dan, I've had dreams that I'm pregnant. I'd place my hands on my round belly and feel so much joy and excitement. Now, here I am, 38+ weeks pregnant and I find myself dreaming about being slim and fit. I guess it's one of those situations where the grass appears greener on the other side.

As my due date rapidly approaches I thought now would be a good time to reflect on the past several months and document what I've experienced and what I've learned throughout my pregnancy.

To be honest, I've had a rather easy pregnancy. The first trimester flew by -- and it may be because I slept through most of it. I didn't throw up, I didn't have any weird cravings, and I didn't gain any weight (I lost weight!). More than anything, I was tired. When I came home from work I'd nap on the couch and Dan would wake me up to see if I wanted dinner. After dinner (if I felt hungry) I'd go back to napping. Later, Dan would wake me up so I could go upstairs and go to bed -- and I never struggled falling back to sleep.

The second trimester was almost just as easy. I craved "real" orange juice (like Simply Orange), ice cream, pancakes, fruit, and Pepsi. The only thing that was out of my norm was orange juice -- we had to keep at least two containers of Simply Orange in the fridge at all times. Pepsi was a little weird for me (I usually drink Diet Coke, if any pop), but I didn't crave Pepsi like I craved orange juice. I also started to slowly gain weight and got a little pooch in my belly. My energy levels came back to normal and I felt great.

My two biggest complaints about my second trimester was a pinched nerve on my left side around my hips/lower back and lots of acid reflux. There was no rhyme or reason to when the pinched nerve would strike, but when it did I was paralyzed with pain. I'd be out and about and suddenly I'd have shooting pain up and down body that would make me freeze in my tracks. It hurt so bad I couldn't move a muscle. Then, as I slowly attempted to move, it would go away -- like someone flipped a light switch. This awkward pain lasted for about a week and then it went away. The acid reflux, on the other hand, hasn't gone away. In fact, I keep antacid supplements on hand virtually 24/7.

Once we entered the third trimester I felt like someone slammed on the breaks and we're now moving in slooooooow motion. At about 30 weeks I really started to feel big and uncomfortable. Almost every morning I'd wake up with back pains and as the day progressed I'd feel like my belly weighed about 50 pounds -- or more. Daily tasks became more and more challenging. Putting on socks, clipping my toe nails, shaving my legs, and getting in and out of cars take more effort then usual these days. My pinched nerve made a not-so-glorious return around week 35 (this time on my right side) and it stuck around for almost a week. I've also been introduced to Restless Leg Syndrome (RLS) when I'm trying to sit still and relax. Still, I don't feel like I can complain because (1) I wanted to be pregnant and (2) I know many women have experienced much worse while pregnant.

During weeks 37 and 38 I got a nasty cold. I don't get sick often, so when I do catch something I usually just suck it up and go about my normal activities -- I just don't like anything to slow me down. However, considering my condition, I decided to give my body some much-needed rest. I ended up going home sick on Tuesday, November 26th and didn't even make it into work on Wednesday the 27th. I slept virtually all day and had next to nothing to eat. Thankfully my Thanksgiving was pretty normal. My nose wasn't stuffed up and I was able to smell and taste everything I ate.

Now, here I am, waiting for our daughter to arrive. While pregnancy has been quite a fun and exciting journey, I am very anxious to see what the next chapter has in store for me and Dan. With each passing day it makes me smile to think that we are one day closer to holding our daughter in our arms.

Yes, I'm a Dog Lover

When I was a little girl my grandparents had a dog named Rusty. Oh, how I loved Rusty! Looking back, I think Rusty was the first dog I really loved.

While I was still very young, Rusty was killed after being struck by a car. I missed Rusty so much that one night, after I had been tucked in by my parents, I prayed to my Heavenly Father and asked if Rusty could come and snuggle with me. Then, I imagined Rusty hopping onto my bed and curling into a ball at my feet. I sat up and lovingly "pet" Rusty as he got cozy on top of my covers. When I laid back down I smiled and felt content imagining Rusty at my feet.

For the longest time my favorite dogs were dalmatians -- because of 101 Dalmatians, of course. I even started collecting dalmatian stuffed animals and I'm pretty sure my ultimate goal was to reach 101. Sadly, I never came close but I did have a pretty big collection.

As a little girl, I used to ask my parents virtually every day, "When are we going to get a puppy?" I never let up. I kept asking and asking and asking... and asking. I knew my family was destined to own a dog, so I started daydreaming about what type of dog it would be and what his/her name would be. I'm sure this won't surprise you when I admit that most of my dog names came from Disney movies about dogs... Lady, Pongo, Perdita, Lucky...

While I waited for that magical moment when my family would get a dog, I enjoyed the company of other dogs. No dog was too big or too small and in my eyes every dog was worth holding and showing love. I gave virtually every dog a chance to feel loved -- even the dogs that weren't too fond of humans, let alone children.

I was six years old when we got our very first puppy, a female chihuahua we named Lucky. Lucky was born on August 9, 1988, and we brought her home in September. Lucky came from a local breeder. She was the last available puppy from her liter and we couldn't have been blessed with a better first dog in our family.

Lucky was a spoiled little pup. She had free range throughout the house and got a generous amount of "people food" whenever possible. She loved sleeping in the sun and when it was cold outside she'd lay on a vent whenever the heat kicked on -- she had her favorite vents too. Lucky was always looking out for our safety and well-being. She kept an eye on "her yard" and kept it squirrel-free as often as possible.

Lucky knew basic commands like sit, lay, and beg, but my favorite trick was taught by my younger sister, Kathleen. Kathleen taught Lucky how to play Hide and Seek! Kathleen took the time to show Lucky a few spots that she could hide in our house. Then, Kathleen would tell Lucky to go hide. While Kathleen slowly count to 10, Lucky would pick one of the spots she was shown. Sure enough, once Kathleen was done counting she would find Lucky in one of the spots she was taught to hide.

Our poor little pup put up with Kathleen and I like a champ when we were little girls. Lucky let us dress her up and treat her like she was one of our baby dolls. When we cried Lucky would come and lick/kiss our tears away. She'd wag her hyper, little tail with each lick as if to say, "It's okay! I'm here! I've got this." If our grief was more than a few happy licks could fix, she'd quietly lay with us, offering silent comfort that was always appreciated.

We had Lucky for 15+ years until she quietly passed away in my mother's arms on December 5, 2003. To this day my family still misses our little Lucky and we still enjoy sharing stories about her. She was certainly more than a family pet, she was/is part of our family.

I may be all grown up and married, but that never stopped me from asking my husband, "When are we going to get a dog?" Unfortunately, Dan is allergic to all animals -- major bummer. However, thankfully he can tolerate some animals better than others and is willing to put up with the occasional stuffy nose, itchy eyes, and headache to be a dog owner -- he is certainly a dog lover as well.

Over time I have developed a passion for adopting pets from a rescue shelter. I'm also no longer hooked on the idea that we need to start with a puppy. When we felt ready, Dan and I started searching and watching local shelters for the perfect pup to bring into our family.

The first dog we attempted to adopt was a medium/large dog who was about a year or two old. We had an appointment to meet the dog that we had our hearts set on and upon entering the shelter we received the bittersweet news that she had just gotten adopted. We were disappointed but we still took a stroll through the shelter to see other dogs that were waiting for their forever families. This was my second time in an animal shelter. Like most shelters, these dogs were kept in cages with a concrete floor. Some were barking (begging for attention), some sat quietly while flashing their adorable puppy eyes at us, and the rest were tucked as far back into their cage with their tail between their legs, shaking out of fear and anxiety. We didn't adopt a dog that day, but I knew I couldn't get a dog anywhere else. Our dog must come from a shelter -- no question about it.

As many of you already know, we ended up adopting Jetta on November 1, 2012. Our little pup was born in an animal shelter and it was an absolute blessing to give her a life outside of an animal shelter so quickly.

Due to our Home Owners Association, Dan and I are only permitted to have two pets at a time. That's a hard pill for me to swallow these days, especially when I come across so many dogs who are in desperate need of a forever home. We came pretty close to adopting our second dog from a different animal shelter, but once again this dog was taken before we had a chance to meet him.

I try blaming my pregnancy hormones, but I'd probably be just as emotional about these dogs in animal shelters if I wasn't pregnant. No matter, Dan has been very supportive whenever I come to him with photos and stories of shelter dogs who could really use some love and a forever home.

I'm less than a month away from having our baby girl and right now is probably not the best time for us to take in a second pet. However, I hate feeling helpless, so recently I decided to collect some dog food and treats that I could pass on to my friend (Tasia) who volunteers at an animal shelter by her house. Still, that doesn't stop me from looking through photos of dogs who need to be saved -- literally saved. A few weeks ago I was sobbing over two puppies who were dumped in a kill shelter. One had been claimed for foster care and the other was scheduled to be killed if no one rescued him. Like a little girl, I asked Dan to include the puppies in our nightly prayer time and, like a loving husband that he is, Dan did what I asked. He even offered me comfort as I quietly sniffed through our prayer time.

Now, I could take a moment and show you some sad photos of puppies and kittens who have abused/neglected and dumped in shelters, but I'll take it easy on you guys -- mostly because I don't have the heart to Google for such images. Now, it may just be a movie (and a cartoon), but take a look at this scene from Lady and the Tramp. It's certainly not far from the truth. All over the world there are precious animals in shelters who are absolutely terrified and desperately just want to go home. These poor animals just want the chance to show love and be loved.

 

Real shelter animals may not cry in a somewhat musical style, but the living conditions seen in this cartoon are very close to the real deal. The metal bars, the cold concrete floors, and the lack of natural light exists in real shelters.

While I'm certainly not trying to guilt anyone into adopting a pet when you're not willing or able, I am hoping that for those of you who are already considering a family pet, you might consider checking your local animal shelter for your furry best friend. Lots of shelters even have Facebook pages that offer photos of their current animals available for adoption. Pets are a huge responsibility, so, please, only consider adopting a pet if you've carefully thought it through.

Just like Christmas and birthday presents, puppies and kittens get dumped (into shelters) once owners lose interest and/or come to realize it takes a lot of work to properly raise/train a pet. Sadly, many pets get purchased as impulse buys only to be dumped once the owner has given up or lost interest. That is one of the reasons why puppy mills really boil my blood.

Again, I could easily show you disturbing images of real puppy mills, but instead I'll let you imagine the worst living conditions possible for any animal. A place where animals are used only to reproduce. A place where they are not properly cared for, fed, or cleaned up after. A place where they are forced to produce hundreds (yes, hundreds!) of babies in their lifetime, only to be dumped on the streets or killed once they are considered unusable.

Now, if you really want to save an animal, look into organizations with information about animals who are scheduled to be killed if no one adopts them. Seriously, there is no rhyme or reason as to why these animals get put down, it's simply because they're unclaimed or unwanted.

Did you know you can foster care a pet? Foster care is a great way to show an animal love and to give him/her time to find a forever home. Contact your local shelters to see if they need foster families for any of their animals.

Lastly, if you do decide to permanently adopt a pet, please have your pet neutered/spayed. Trust me, there is no shortage of dogs, cats, or rabbits out there. Please help control the pet population by having your pet fixed.

Now, if you're like me and you already own a pet, after reading this you're probably anxious to go and give your pet a hug and some random treats. You are your pet's hero! Even if you didn't get him/her from a shelter, you're giving your pet the opportunity to be part of a family and feel loved. And if your pet is anything like my little Jetta, he/she will light up with joy when you enter the room and just be happy that you're home.



FREEBIE$ & DEAL$

If there is one thing I'll spend time searching for it's freebies and great deals! I am, by no means, an extreme coupon queen (I have no idea how to buy $2000 worth of groceries for $10), but I know how to snag some pretty fabulous freebies and discounts. Now, I don't want this blog post to be forever long, so I'll try to give you guys the "short" version and share just some of my tricks, tips, and suggestions.

"JUNK MAIL"
First things first, set up a "junk mail" account -- any free email account will do. I have a hotmail account dedicated to all my random freebies and deals. Honestly, I divide my emails into two groups. My "A-List" emails get sent to my primary account -- these emails I want to see on a regular basis. My "B-List" emails go to my junk mail account, which is monitored on a regular basis.

A lot of companies will ask you to share your email with them when you request a freebie. I don't want my personal/primary account to get swamped with emails I won't read, so my junk mail account houses all of those random messages apart from the ones that are more important to me.

Dan appreciates my freebie quest, so he has a junk mail account as well. You can easily double your freebies by having two accounts -- one for you and one for your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend. My parents are also kind enough to let me send freebies to their house -- since some freebies permit only "one per household".

Some companies don't send the same deals/coupons to every email. I've been told that sharing your phone number and/or email at each purchase will increase your odds of receiving more deals/coupons. I'm not sure if it's true but it's worth a shot.

BIRTHDAY FREEBIES
August is a great month for freebies in our household because mine and Dan's birthdays are both in August. Sign up to receive email newsletters from your favorite restaurants and you'll get some amazing coupons to use around your birthday. And, yes, if your birthday is close to your spouse most restaurants will let you use multiple coupons -- sometimes Dan and I eat for free!

Here are some of our favorites:
Noodles & Company - Free Bowl
Benihana - $30 Off Dine-In Entree
Red Robin - Free Entree
Corner Bakery - Free Baked Good
Hollywood Blvd & Hollywood Palms* - 8 Free Movie Tickets per Theater
bd's Mongolian BBQ - Free Unlimited Bowl with purchase of Single Bowl

Now, some of these deals may change over time and require you to visit them on specific nights, but this is what we've taken advantage of in the past. As an added bonus, some companies will even send you coupons just for signing up! So be sure to sign up for email newsletters before you go out to your favorite restaurant.

*Note: As of right now you can sign up for their birthday club when you see a movie -- I don't see an option on their website. You might be able to sign up if you contact them. Also, each guest is expected to purchase at least one item while at the theater. You can order a whole meal or just a beverage. How much you spend is your call. Still, you'll get to see new movies at this theater (minus opening weekend), so it's still a great deal.

HUNT4FREEBIES

Hunt4Freebies is one of my favorite sites! If you like them on Facebook you'll automatically get freebie updates in your news feed. Simply watch for the deals that strike your interest.

Some freebies will go very fast. For example, if Hunt4Freebies announces "Product X will be available at 2:00 p.m. central..." you should probably be ready a couple of minutes before hand to increase your odds of snagging that specific freebie.

Through them I have gotten TONS of excellent freebies -- including full-size beauty products, razors for men and women, movie tickets, gift cards, pizza, pet food, baked goods, cleaning supplies, make-up, jewelry, and groceries. I also get tons of travel-size samples from this site. These little freebies are great for overnight guests and vacations.

REDBOX
Who hasn't noticed a movie/video game vending machine at their local grocery store? Welcome to the world of Redbox! It's already cheap to rent from Redbox, but you can also rent movies for free. When you sign up for a Redbox account be sure to sign up for their text messages too. Dan and I each have an account, so when we get free movie codes we each get to pick out a movie. The free codes come without warning, so Dan and I usually use the freebies to create a fun-filled, in-house date night. Redbox also sends out freebies (via email) when you sign up and on the anniversary that you signed up.

FYI... Hunt4Freebies notifies folks when Redbox has random freebie codes available to everyone.

BING REWARDS
Who doesn't use a search engine when surfing the web? How would you like to get rewarded just for searching through bing? I earn a $5 Starbucks gift card 1-2 times a month just by using bing on a daily basis. After you earn your first reward you'll start earning them faster.

Click the link below to get started...
Bing Rewards

RECYCLE BANK
Want to learn how to live green and save energy? Pick up some new tricks to living a more green lifestyle and you can also earn some fabulous gift cards! You earn points by playing games, reading articles, and watching videos. Points vary, depending on what they're offering, but if you stick with them you'll earn $5-$10 gift cards for Best Buy, Starbucks, Lowes, and more!

Click the link below to get started...
Recycle Bank

FYI... Hunt4Freebies notifies folks when Recycle Bank has new earning opportunities.

VIGGLE
This is strictly a smart phone app, so you'll need a smart phone in order to take advantage of their reward program. Viggle is an app that rewards you for watching TV. Yes, you read that correctly. You can earn free products, gift cards, and coupons by "checking in" to various TV shows and watching their commercials for bonus points.

You get 1 point for every minute of TV you watch. Some shows offer bonus points. When each show ends you need to check in to a new show to continue earning points.

Honestly, this program used to be a lot more generous with their points. Dan and I discovered it when it first came out and we managed to score a free PS3 and other excellent freebies with very little effort. These days it takes a while to earn enough points for a sweet freebie, but hey, if you're gonna watch TV you might as well earn some freebies while you're at it.

Rewards change frequently, so be sure to browse the rewards from time to time to see what's available.

Also, don't fret if points take a while to show up in your account. Lately, I've noticed points in my history but my grand total doesn't always change unless I close out the app. Also, sometimes it looks like I'm still watching a show when it is actually over. Go ahead and check in to a new show when your previous show is over. Hopefully the little bugs will get fixed soon.

SHUTTERFLY
Okay, who out there doesn't already know that Shutterfly gives out amazing freebies from time to time?! Yes, sign up for their emails and you'll get offers for free cards, mouse pads, mugs, and (my favorite!) books! They also send out generous coupons as well.

PAMPERS
I've been told that Pampers are the best diapers and if you're using disposable diapers you might as well earn rewards for those many, many, many diapers you'll be purchasing. Enter the codes on each package of diapers and earn points towards all sorts of goodies -- including Shutterfly!

Since I also get their emails, sometimes Pampers will send me random codes for free Shutterfly goodies -- including books.

Click on the link below to get started...
Pampers

FYI... Hunt4Freebies notifies folks when Pampers offers bonus points.

COKE & PEPSI
Do you drink Coke and/or Pepsi products? Join their rewards programs and enters codes (found on their beverages) to earn points for freebies, coupons, and opportunities to enter sweepstakes.

I do know that Coke points expire (they'll warn you via email when your points are about to expire), but I'm not sure about Pepsi.

Click on the link below to get started...
My Coke Rewards
Pepsi Rewards Plus

FYI... Hunt4Freebies notifies folks when Coke and Pepsi offers bonus points.

E-REWARDS
Technically, Dan and I were invited by Southwest Airlines to join e-Rewards program. I'm not sure if this is a program is open for anyone to join. If you happen to get invited from a participating company, do it!

Through e-Rewards Dan and I participate in online and mobile surveys -- yes, they have a mobile app. Surveys vary and we don't always qualify to fill out the full survey. Still, even partial surveys earn you virtual dollars. Since joining e-Rewards, I've earned $0.25 - $25.00 per survey.

No, you don't actually get paid in cash for each survey. Instead, you can use your virtual dollars to buy gift cards and other goodies. Dan and I use our virtual dollars to buy Southwest points. It took me about two years, but I managed to buy my recent round trip ticket to Orlando, Florida just by using points I earned through e-Rewards!

Some surveys are quick and others can take a long time. I have my account set so I get notified (via email) whenever there is a new survey available -- and I want to be notified about every opportunity. To increase my earning potential I also use their mobile app for additional survey opportunities.

INFLUENSTER
This company sends out free, full-size samples for "Influensters" to try and review. These "VoxBoxes" vary and depend on what you tell them you are most interested in. I qualify for one VoxBox every couple of months. You'll be sent an email letting you know you have been preselected to receive a special VoxBox. You'll have ## of days to log in to your account and fill out a survey. If you don't fill out the survey in time you won't receive a VoxBox -- so keep an eye out for their offers.

If you are lucky enough to receive a VoxBox you'll be expected to (one way or another) review the products that you received. This includes sharing pictures and posts via Facebook and Twitter, blogging, making YouTube videos, filling out surveys, and writing reviews on their website. No, you don't have to share your reviews in every possible way, but the more active you are the more VoxBoxes you'll get.

If you want to be invited to join Influenster, feel free to contact me with your email address. Okay, no, you really don't need me to join Influenster, but it will help my Influenster score if I send you an official invite and you join that way. I think I only have five invites available right now, so first come first serve.

DISNEY MOVIE REWARDS
If you're a Disney fan (like me!), I'm sure you've got plenty of Disney movies in your home collection. Inside each specially marked DVD and Blu-ray case is a unique code. Enter the code and score points. You can use the points to get Disney freebies and occasional gift cards. They always seem to have some kid-friendly freebies available -- mostly activities you can print out at home.

Some of my family and friends don't own enough Disney movies to make this worth signing up for. To keep those points from going to waste, family/friends cheerfully send me their codes. If you'd like to share your Disney Movie Reward codes with me, feel free to send me a private message. I'll be sure to put them to good use!

Click on the link below to get started...
Disney Movie Rewards

FYI... Hunt4Freebies notifies folks when Disney Movie Rewards offers bonus points.

GROUPON & LIVINGSOCIAL
It's very unlikely that you haven't heard of Groupon or LivingSocial. Sites like these offer discounts on products, dining, shopping, and vacations. Discounts vary but they can certainly help you save some money the next time you and your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend decide to out on a spontaneous date.

You can even earn rewards and discounts by sharing (announcing) your purchase on your social media page. Meaning, if you make a Groupon purchase be sure to share the unique link, that Groupon creates for you, on your Facebook page. If others make the same purchase after clicking on the link that you shared you have a chance to earn rewards -- rewards vary, see sites for more information.

SMART PHONE APPS
Do you own a smart phone? Be sure to download apps for your favorite stores and restaurants. Some companies offers coupons and freebies through their mobile apps. I typically don't buy anything unless it is on sale and/or I have a coupon. So when a spontaneous purchase arises, I check to see if the store has an app available. Thanks to coupons via smart phone apps I've been able to save money on random purchases.

Even if a company doesn't have a smart phone app, use your phone to check out their website for coupons and deals. A lot of registers are capable of scanning phones to accept coupons. If the scanner doesn't work there is usually a code the the sales employee can manually type in.

MISCELLANEOUS TIPS
Trust me, I know and understand that couponing can be a very time-consuming task. Bottom line, there are LOTS of deals out there and freebies just waiting to be claimed. The trick is finding the time to request/earn those freebies. Again, these are just some of my tips and tricks. It's a little easier to discuss the finer details in person.

If a company has a free reward program, sign up for it. It doesn't matter if you don't shop there on a regular basis, you might as well earn freebies/discounts just for shopping there whenever do. Stores like Best Buy, American Eagle, and Express will send you gift cards and/or coupons when you earn enough points. Restaurants like Red Robin and TGI Fridays will offer free food and coupons when you earn enough points. If you don't shop/eat somewhere on a regular basis that's what your "junk mail" account can be used for.

My last tip (for now) is... ASK! Asking employees about current promotions and discounts can really come in handy. You never know what's available if you don't ask. Try this trick the next time you're on vacation. Ask about a free room or rental car upgrade. Just make sure you ask nicely. Oh, and don't ask too loudly -- employees are less likely to offer upgrades if others will overhear and demand the same upgrade. If you're celebrating a birthday, anniversary, or some other special occasion find a way to bring it up when you're out on vacation or at a restaurant. Dan and I have gotten some sweet freebies and upgrades this way.

Well, I hope I was able to explain everything clearly. If you have any questions feel free to ask in the comment section. I'll do my best to answer any questions as clearly as possible.

Now, if you have a deal for me, be sure to post a comment or contact me personally. I'm always on the hunt for a fabulous freebie/deal!

Every BODY is Different

One of the hardest things about infertility is the fact that you cannot receive medical assistance until you and your spouse have attempted to get pregnant for at least a year. During that significant time period, a year can feel like an eternity -- especially when you know the odds aren't looking good you'll be pregnant before the year is up.

When mine and Dan's year of trying was (finally!) up, I immediately made an appointment to see a fertility specialist. A year of nothing had come and gone and I was not about to waste anymore time.

During my first meeting with Dr. S we discussed just about everything about my body and my medical history. While he wanted to run a few tests before he could officially come up with a game plan, the first thing he told me to do was change my diet. He told me to cut carbs, sugar, and fatty foods. While I generally eat healthy on a daily basis, I'll admit I have a pretty strong sweet tooth. Still, I took his advise to heart and made some drastic changes. Immediately, I took to the web (including Pinterest) to find some new healthy recipes.

In the end, I managed to get pregnant rather quickly and with very little medical assistance -- and that is a HUGE praise! The idea of popping a wide variety of pills, taking shots and other medical treatments had me a little worried. If you don't know me personally, I'm the type of person who resists simple over-the-counter pain pills when I've got a headache, cramps, and achy muscles. Instead, I usually drink lots of water and try to rest in hopes that my body will naturally take care of the rest. In most cases, it works. Then again, I also have days when I cheerfully give in and pop a pill or two.

Everyone has a his/her own approach to treating their own body. I'm not here to say there is a right or a wrong way because everybody is different and every BODY is different. Some bodies simply require a change in diet and exercise while other bodies (without a doubt) need/require medical assistance.

I wish I had known that properly changing my diet/exercise could (possibly) help me avoid infertility treatments. While I cannot guarantee I won't need medical assistance for when we attempt Baby Nelly #2, I fully intend on changing my diet/exercise in hopes that it will help sync and repair my body. Seriously though, cutting carbs, sugar, and fatty foods is just a good idea for anyone and everyone!

So, to all my ladies who are waiting for that first year to go by, might I suggest changing to a more healthy lifestyle? Like I said before, I can't guarantee you won't need medical assistance, but it's a step in the right direction. Plus, your healthy lifestyle will be very beneficial to you and your baby when you are pregnant.

If a year goes by and your healthy lifestyle doesn't appear to help your situation, I see nothing wrong with seeking medical assistance. Doctors are certainly capable of noticing details that we cannot see. Plus, experienced doctors will have a head start, so to speak, once they review your medical history and run some tests.

Above all, keep praying! Who knows your body better than God?! He knows the number of hairs on your head, the number of times your heart beats each day, the thoughts that race through your mind... he knows everything about you. And... He has a plan for you.

A friend of mine, who is currently dealing with infertility, has sent me a few helpful links and I'd like to share them with each of you...

Really great educational resources/support communities for women struggling with infertility (both also on Facebook):

Natural Fertility and Wellness

A Royal Daughter

Books to read:
Making Babies: A Proven 3-Month Program for Maximum Fertility
The Infertility Cure: The Ancient Chinese Wellness Program for Getting Pregnant and Having Healthy Babies

Again, everybody is different and every body is different. Take care of your body and treat it like the temple that it is. Besides, ladies, it's very likely that your body will serve as temporary housing for your baby/babies.

So no matter what you're dealing with, I believe that a healthy lifestyle is a great starting to point to any physical set-backs. Now, if you still require medical assistance, please, don't be discouraged. No matter what comes next in your journey, keep praying for God's wisdom and guidance to give you strength. He can help you overcome any obstacle life throws at you.

Now, for a little extra encouragement, here is Mandisa's latest single, Overcomer. Enjoy!

PS - Today I am 27 weeks and 5 days into my pregnancy. Only 85 days until Baby Nelly's due date. Yeah, we're still working on her name. Stay tuned!

You're Not Alone

Ever since I started sharing the struggles of mine and Dan's infertility, I've had countless women share with me their secret infertility battles. My heart breaks every time I discover that I have yet another friend who is facing the uncertainty of infertility and/or had miscarriages. Then, with each new testimony my prayer list grows.

While I understand that infertility can certainly be heartbreaking, difficult to bear, and quite embarrassing, I want to encourage those of you who are struggling with this journey to share your story with others and build a support team. Seek family, friends, neighbors, and co-workers who can encourage you and, most importantly, pray for you.

From the very beginning, I wanted to keep my infertility private. It wanted it to be an experience that Dan and I would simply share as husband and wife. Naturally, we kept God in the loop by praying to him daily, but that was as far as I wanted it to go. I was too embarrassed to admit that my body couldn't do the one thing a woman is expected to do: bear children. Then, when fertility treatments became a reality, I was afraid to tell others because I didn't know if they would work. For some reason I felt like I would be letting others down if I had to share such difficult news.

Fear is what held me back from sharing my story. Think of all the times you've passed on an opportunity because you were afraid. Afraid of being embarrassed? Afraid of being wrong? Afraid of being teased? I know I've missed out on countless opportunities because I was afraid.

I never liked being dunked under water, but I've always enjoyed swimming and playing in the water. Then, when I was 16, I had a (very!) scary situation in an over-crowded wave pool and from that moment I developed a intense fear of water activities. Tubing, skiing, knee boarding, and water slides make me nervous. While I usually have to give myself a pep talk before trying out any water activity, I've attempted just about every water sport (including barefoot skiing) and I've even gone down those straight-down water slides. As time goes by my fear of water activities lessens and the urge to attempt such activities becomes more and more natural.

Here are some photos from a past knee boarding experience...

Look at my facial expression in each of the above photos. Do I look scared? No... and that's because I'm not. I'm having fun! Sure I was scared before I decided to attempt knee boarding. My heart was racing as I strapped on the safety vest and climbed out of the boat. Then, as the boat slowly started to move away, leaving me behind, I begin to wonder, "What have I gotten myself into?!" My fear goes into high gear and I have a choice to make: (1) Call out to the boat driver that I've changed my mind and to pull me back into the boat or (2) Face my fears and confidently call out "Hit it!"

 

Okay... "HIT IT!!"

Now, what you don't see in the photos is a group of friends in the speedboat cheering me on. If you've ever been pulled by a speedboat, you know that it is very difficult to verbally communicate with those who are in the boat -- the motor is just too loud. That is why there are hand signals usded to communicate slower, faster, and stop. Still, despite the noisy speedboad, I could clearly see and hear my friends cheering me on as I made my way around the lake. Then, as my confidence grew, I even started doing tricks. I would zip from side to side, hopping over the wake that was created by the boat, and I would spin around and do a 360 -- all without wiping out.

 

Several years ago, shortly after that scary wave pool incident, I decided to not let fear hold me back. I saw others having fun doing various water activities and I was tired of simply watching them have fun. I wanted to have fun too!

Another scary water activity for me? White water rafting. Still, that didn't stop me from going rafting in Wisconsin and Alaska... and I've had fun every time.

What else scares me? Sharks! Ever since I saw Jaws I haven't been able to look as large bodies of water the same. Still, I've played in the ocean and I've even gone body surfing.

 

Okay, one more... sometimes I'm scared of heights. Still, I've gone rock climbing and sky diving.

 

My point is this... (1) I could've missed out a lot of great memories if I let my fears consume me and (2) Having a support team can make all the difference. Knee boarding, rafting, body surfing, rock climbing, and sky diving... these are all activities I've done with supportive friends. Encouragement from others can give us the confidence to take a leap of faith and trust that everything is going to be okay.

When Dan and I were in the Bahamas on our honeymoon, we went to Aquaventure, Atlantis Paradise Island’s water park. While I had been facing my fears all day by riding various water slides, I found myself at the top of, yet another, straight-down slide. To make matters worse, this slide even goes through a shark tank. Gulp.

Time out!

Think it's crazy for me to be scared of this slide because the sharks are in a tank and there is glass between us? Well, one time a shark actually jumped out of the tank and onto the slide. Thankfully no one was riding the slide when it happened, but still, it happened. Watch the story HERE. Oh, and by the way, this happened after I was there.

Time in!

Originally, I told Dan to let me go first, so he could watch me and make sure I went down okay. Unfortunatly, fear consumed me and I begged Dan to just go without me. He hesitated and encouraged me to give it a shot, but once he noticed that I was serious he went ahead and went down the slide. I felt embaressed and silly for getting so scared. Then, just as I hopped out of line, I jumped back in -- allowing several folks to go ahead of me so I could give myself a pep talk.

"You'll be okay, sweetie!" an older lady in line called out to me. "It's not that bad. You can do it."

Then, a group of young adult guys, who were standing in front of me, turned around and also started encouraging me.

"You'll like it!"

"Give it a try. It's fun!"

"Don't worry, it's not as scary as it looks."

I looked back at the first lady who called out to me.

"I've done stuff like this before, I'm just a little nervous," I called out.

"You'll be fine," she smiled and I smiled back.

I felt my confidence slowly return. Then, an employee made his way towards me.

"The way I see it, you have two choices," he said in a rather serious tone, "either you go down on your own or I push you down." He smiled and I laughed. Clearly he was teasing me and it seem to help.

One by one, I watched as the young adults ahead of me cheered and hollered as they practically threw themselves down the two seperate slides. Some even attempted to race down the slide. Clearly they were not afraid.

My turn had come and I stepped up to the slide, slowly laid down, and crossed my arms over my chest. I wiggled my way forward and squeezed my eyes shut as I felt my body suddenly fall down the slide. I sped down the slide, through the shark tank, and splashed into a giant pool. When I emerged from the water I heard a loud and great cheer roar in my ears. As I wiped the water away from my eyes, I saw that it was the young adults!

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" one guy called out.

I smiled as I proudly announced, "That was fun!"

Next, I went to look for Dan. Apparently he waited for me at the bottom of the slide, but when several minutes had passed he thought he'd better go back in line and look for me. Then, he saw me come down. I was so excited to tell him I went down and, naturally, he was also proud of me for facing my fears.

Encouragement doesn't have to come from people you know, personally. This is just one example of how perfect strangers can also become a support group -- even if it's just for a moment.

Bottom line, don't be afraid to share your story with loved ones -- no matter what you're struggling with. Having a support team can make all the difference!

We all have personal struggles and we all have fears. These private battles can make us feel scared and alone. The truth is, you are never alone. God is everywhere and he wants to be there for you. He wants to show you love, compassion, and he wants to comfort you during your difficult journey. I'm sure God has already blessed you with countless family and friends who are ready and willing to encourage you and support you. Reach out to them and ask them to pray for you.

Consider this...

Think about what you're struggling with. Right now it might be a secret. Maybe your spouse or your best friend knows what you're dealing with, but for the most part it's a secret. If things don't work out or they take a lot longer than you expected, won't it feel good to have family and friends to turn to when you grieve? Having arms to hold you, a shoulder to cry on, and ears to listen to your story can help heal a broken heart and a crushed spirit.

Even if you're not ready to share your story with family and friends, consider joining a support group. Many of you who have reached out to me have done so because you know I'll understand. While I certainly welcome (and encourage!) each of you to continue to share your stories with me, I would also like to encourage you to find additional support. You may not want to share your story with family or friends out of fear that they will not understand; I get that. So if anything, please consider finding a group who has members with stories that you can relate to.

Still, even if you decide to continue to keep your story to yourself, you're not alone. God is here and he wants to give you the support that you need. Prayer is powerful and I can't express how much prayer has been my greatest support during my infertility journey. If anything, prayer has given me strength to face a new day with confidence. As my prayer warriors grew in numbers, my confidence grew as well.

It's easy to Google scripture that addresses specific needs: fear, anxiety, stress, etc. I'd like to encourage you to look up verses that will speak about your specific needs. You'll be amazed at how comforting reading scripture can be.

Music is another helpful aid. When I'm struggling I listen to songs that speak to my heart. Very often they're songs that are inspired by scrpiture, God's written word.

Allow me to get the ball rolling. When you're done reading this post, please look up the following Bible verses:

Matthew 6:25-27
Matthew 6:34
Matthew 11:28-30
Luke 12:25
John 14:27
Phillipians 4:6-7
1 Peter 5:7
2 Thessalonians 3:16
Hebrews 13:6

Of course there are many more Bible verses worth reading, but this is just a sample to get your feet wet. Search scripture for the verses that really speak to your heart. When you find your favorites, write them down or type them up on the computer. Next, put them up in places where you will see them daily. Let them remind you that you're not alone -- God is with you.

Next, try listening to "You're Not Alone" by Meredith Andrews (I've gone ahead and posted it below). Hopefully the beautiful lyrics will be a source of comfort.

 

Tears are part of the healing process and certainly part of any difficult journey, so don't be afraid to cry it out. Just don't believe that you have to do it alone. Seek God first, in all that you do, and when/if you're ready try reaching out to family, friends, or even a support group. Let others encourage and support you. You'd do the same for them, wouldn't you?

 

One final thought. Did you know that my mom was the one who strongly encouraged me to share my infertility story? She believes in the power of prayer and the fact that you can never have too many people praying for one person/situation. If it wasn't for her encouragement, I don't know where I would be today.

 

Since my first blog post about my infertility, I have received so many text messages, phone calls, emails, and Facebook messages from men and women thanking me for sharing my inspiritational story. I've even had friends ask for permission to share my blog with their friends -- which is totally okay by the way. Truth is, this story belongs to God. It is a testimony of hope, faith, and how nothing is impossible with God. I just needed the encouragement to face my fears and to share my story.

 

Do not be afraid, my friends. You are not alone.



Monday, May 28, 2013

This is not a story I want to share and this is certainly not a story that I want to remember. However, I promised that I would continue to share my pregnancy journey with each of you -- and a promise is a promise. Plus, I really feel like God's presence, as always, is evident and that is the most important reason to share this difficult story.

 

Now, before I get into details, I have two disclaimers for you... (1) This post is going to get a little graphic and might be disturbing for some readers, so please, proceed with caution and (2) There is a happy ending to this story. I hate to spoil the ending, but trust me, you'll be happy that I did.

 

On May 28th I kept waking up with the urge to use the bathroom. The urge wasn't intense, so I ignored it and tried to sleep. At about 4:30 in the morning I had woken up for the third time. A little disgruntled by my lack of consistent sleep, I finally got out of bed and made my way to our master bathroom. The only light I had was moonlight through the bathroom windows and a tiny nightlight. It was enough to see what no expecting mother wants to see. There was blood! Lots of blood!

 

My heart raced as I quickly flipped on the bathroom light. I looked without blinking, trying to figure out if what I was seeing was real. Sadly, it was real and in an instant I was wide awake.

 

Once I got cleaned up, I turned off the light and exited the bathroom. Carefully, I walked into our room and made my way to my side of the bed. I don't know why, but for a brief moment I actually hesitated to wake Dan. I think I was in denial that there was actually a problem. Naturally, I knew I had to tell him.

 

"Dan," I quietly and calmly called out. Dan started to stir. "I'm going to turn on the light."

 

I turned on the light on my side of the bed and then slowly kneeled on the bed. Dan rolled over and looked at me.

 

"What's wrong?" he quietly asked, squinting as he faced the light.

 

"I just went to the bathroom and, well, I saw blood."

 

Dan was wide awake.

 

Neither of us was sure what to do next. Do we call the doctor? Do we just go straight to the ER? Are we getting worked up over nothing? I decided to call my doctor's office (knowing it wouldn't be open) and Dan started doing some research online.

 

I spoke with a nice operator when I called my doctor's office. I was shaking as my voice trembled and tears filled my eyes. I tried to remain calm as I explained what I saw and she was sympathetic as she took down my information.

 

The operator said she would contact the on-call doctor and pass along my message. She said that the on-call doctor will be in touch with advise on how to proceed.

 

Once I got off the phone I started pacing the room. Dan and I were in disbelief that this was actually happening. Needless to say, we did a lot of praying from here on out.

 

A few minutes later, I looked at my phone and noticed that I had a missed call and a voicemail. I had forgotten that my phone was in "do not disturb" mode (11:00 pm - 6:00 am), so that's how I missed the call. I quickly listened to the voicemail. The doctor said that if there was a lot of blood we should go to the emergency room. I had no doubt in my mind, there was a lot of blood. So we got dressed and made our was the the ER.

 

The ER was quiet, so we got taken care of right away. First, a nurse took my vitals. Everything was normal, except my blood pressure was a little high -- the nurse figured it was because I was nervous and she certainly understood why.

 

Next, Dan and I were taken to a private room in the ER where I changed into a hospital gown and got into bed. I had no idea what to expect next, but I was surprisingly calm -- calm enough to ask Dan to take a picture of me.

 

 

Not much time passed and I had a doctor and a nurse in my room, ready to examine me. The doctor and his nurse were very nice and caring. The especially sweet, female nurse held my hand as the doctor examined me. There was more blood making it's way out of my body. Dan came over and held my other hand as I winced in pain and discomfort.

 

During the examination, Dan suddenly became extremely pale. He said he felt lightheaded and the nurse told him to have a seat. Apparently Dan was quite upset watching the doctor clean out the blood and seeing me so uncomfortable, so much that it made him dizzy.

 

After the doctor left, the nurse asked me about what I saw in the bathroom.

 

"Was the blood dark red or bright red?" she calmly asked.

 

"Dark red for sure," I replied with confidence.

 

You never want to see blood when you're pregnant, but if it does happen, dark blood is what you want to see. Dark blood is old blood.

 

The nurse went on to tell me that she had some bleeding with her second or third baby and everything was fine. Her story was quite comforting for Dan and I.

 

At this point we had a feeling that this would be a long morning for us, so Dan got in contact with his boss and I got in contact with a co-worker (and friend) who would pass the message on to my boss.

 

Later, the doctor scheduled an ultrasound so they could get a look at the baby, but since I had nothing in my system the nurse inserted a catheter so they could fill my bladder with sterile water -- no fun, no fun at all.

 

When it was time for my ultrasound Dan had to stay back -- I really don't know why. I felt bad for him and (of course!) I really wanted him to be with me.

 

While still in bed, my nurse rolled me to one of the ultrasound rooms. There, the ultrasound tech (another nice lady), used the catheter to fill my bladder with sterile water. I watched as my belly expanded -- it felt so weird, but was also slightly amusing. Once my bladder was full she started examining everything in my belly.

 

The ultrasound tech let me peek at her monitor as she examined me. There were moments that I could tell what she was looking at, but most of the time I had no idea. It certainly didn't help that she moved really fast too.

 

When she got to the baby she slowed down. At this point I was 11+ weeks pregnant and this was my first view of our baby actually looking like a baby. As I carefully watched the screen, I saw the baby move.

 

"Did the baby just move?" I asked with a big smile.

 

"Yes, that's your baby moving," she smiled back.

 

I watched my little baby move and groove in my belly. It was a beautiful sight -- I could easily watch it all day!

 

Next, she checked the baby's heartbeat and it looked good. She wasn't able to tell me much, since the images she captured needed to be reviewed by the doctor, but she said that the baby had a good heartbeat. I felt so much relief.

 

When I was rolled back into my room, Dan quickly noticed me and I smiled at him.

 

"I saw the baby move," I proudly announced and Dan was very relieved.

 

Once the catheter was removed I was free to use the bathroom and change back into my normal clothes.

 

Next, we waited... and waited... and waited... and waited.

 

I pulled out my phone and checked my Bible app to read today's verse of the day.

 

I was amazed at what I saw! Surely God was speaking to me through his written word, there was/is no doubt in my mind. Call me strange, but as worried as I was, I always had this inner peace that the baby is okay and that everything was going to be okay. God was keeping both Dan and I strong and this verse served as a beautiful reminder to both of us.

As we continued to wait... and wait... and wait... and wait... a friendly nurse (who had just started her shift) came in and offered us some snacks. We had nothing in our system and were starting to get hungry. She also said that we were free to watch TV while we wait.

I'll spare you the drawn out wait that we experienced and just jump to the conclusion... a doctor confirmed that we still have a live birth. However, they did find a small blood clot in the gestational sac. The doctor strongly suggested that we schedule an appointment to meet with my doctor within the next day or so, but since we were leaving for Florida the next day he suggested that we see her later today. We scheduled an appointment immediately.

As they prepared to discharge me, I had to sign some paper work and a nurse explained that I was diagnosed with a "threatened miscarriage" -- NOT a friendly medical term in the slightest. Next, I was strongly advised to reduce stress, relax, drink lots of water, and not do any heavy lifting.

 

I called my boss during our drive home and gave her an update on my situation. I decided to stay home and rest. Dan went into work for a little bit, but he came home so he could join me for my doctor's appointment at 3:30 pm.

 

Our meeting with my doctor went beautifully. She did an excellent job of thoroughly explaining what I had experienced. Her calm and confident tone put our minds at ease and we no longer felt nervous about our baby's condition.

 

A "threatened miscarriage" is used whenever there is vaginal blood during a pregnancy. What most people don't know is that it is common. Again, the major difference is in the color. Dark red blood is the better of the two options, but still shouldn't be ignored. Bright red blood is fresh blood and should be examined immediately.

 

The small blood clot in the gestational sac is also believed to be more common than people know. However, many go undetected during pregnancy. I found out about our clot simply because of the dark blood episode -- which was unrelated. There is nothing they can do about a clot like this. Our best hope is that it takes care of itself -- and most will do just that.

 

When I reminded my doctor about our upcoming trip to Florida (and Disney World), she simply told us to have fun -- so long as I stay hydrated and don't do anything extreme. She also explained that I would probably get some more bleeding over the next couple of days (much like my period). As long as the blood doesn't come out bright red, along with unbearable cramping, I should be fine.

 

I don't know why God permitted such a scary experience. He of all people know how much we've longed for a baby. Truth is, I may never understand why Dan and I had to go through all that drama. As much as I try to understand God's plans, I can't. No one can. Like I've said before, God sees the big picture, we don't.

 

The best answer I can come up with is God wanted to get a clear message to me to take it easy. I have four jobs, lots of gigs that I volunteer for, and I'm a social butterfly. Other than feeling icky and tired, my pregnancy hasn't been super obvious and at times I would even forget that I'm pregnant. Maybe God wanted to remind me of the blessing He has given me and that I need to take better care of myself?

 

Since May 28th I have done more to stay relaxed and hydrated. I eat better and I spend more time watching TV, movies, and basically being a bum. I'm taking a step back from some of my work and the gigs that I volunteer for. Old habits certainly die hard, but I trust that I'm making the right decisions because I feel nothing but peace when I pray about the areas of my life that I am changing.

 

Trials make us stronger and help us focus on the areas that we need to improve. Who can deny that? Athletes are a great example! They purposely challenge themselves so they can get stronger, faster, etc. We give standing ovations to the athletes who get injured on a race course but hobble their way past the finish line. Why? Because they don't give up. They don't blame someone else because they stepped wrong and twisted their ankle.

 

Life is filled with trials and challenges. Life won't get easy if we place the blame on God (or anyone else for that matter) every time things don't go according to our plan. Many people want to be blessed by God, but they don't want God to be part of their lives.

 

I may not understand why God permitted the events of May 28th, but I know that he was with me and Dan every step of the way, opening our eyes to see his blessings from a whole new perspective.

Confessions

Whenever I blog, I always do my best to stay open and honest. Lately, my blog posts have been more on the serious side (exclude my previous post about Ivory shampoo and body wash), but if you look back at older posts you'll see that they're quite random and usually upbeat. Still, no matter what I write, I want to be honest. That being said, I feel like I have some confessions to make.

Infertility brings out a lot of colorful emotions in people. Usually they're not pretty. There's anger, frustration, disappointment, and plenty of jealousy.

My mom has always said that I'm like my dad -- I'm a happy person unless someone/something makes me sad. Infertility makes me very sad!

My first confession is odd. While on my infertility journey I started daydreaming about what it would be like to announce that I'm expecting a baby. I wanted to say the words, even if they weren't true. I wanted it to (somehow!) come up in conversation with a stranger so I could say the words and feel the [false] joy. I just wanted to know what it felt like to make such an announcement. Rest easy, I never made any false baby announcements -- not even close. This strange urge just illustrates some of my infertility emotions.

My second confession comes as no surprise to anyone who has ever longed to have a baby. I struggled with feeling jealous of those who already had children, especially the ones who were successful with very little (or no) effort. Yep, I know I'm not alone on this one -- I've had many friends confess this to me.

Jealousy is, by far, my least favorite emotion. It's cold, bitter and only gets worse if gone untreated. How does one treat jealously? Easy! Through prayer and counting your blessings. The grass isn't always greener on the other side and you don't always know the full story. Jealousy typically comes from only seeing a small part of someone's joy. Sometimes seeing the whole story will make you understand why their joy should be shared by all... instead of being jealous of what they have and you don't.

Now, do I get jealous every time I hear a baby announcement or see one posted on Facebook? No! Certainly not. Do I enjoy going to baby showers? Yes! Always! Seriously, what girl doesn't like picking out adorable baby clothes, even if they're not for her baby? I've always enjoyed shopping for baby showers. Oddly enough, that is the one area that I have never struggled. I guess I just love baby showers.

Truth be told, some days are better than others and on my darker days I would quickly ask God for peace of mind so I could genuinely congratulate the expecting parents. Again, prayer works and yes it does work that fast.

My third confession might be weird to some, but certainly not to all. When Dan and I first adopted our shelter puppy (Jetta) I was surprised at how much I enjoyed hearing others refer to me as Jetta's mom. Obviously I am not Jetta's biological mother (duh!), but she is family and in many ways I care for her like I would my own children. I show her love, I cuddle with her, make sure she is well fed and hydrated, and I discipline her when she is naughty. Jetta may be a family pet, but to me and Dan she is family and we are her adopted parents. It just feels good to know that someone (human or pet) can count on you to take care of them... and if that makes me Jetta's "mom", I'll take it!

My last confession is, well, a big one. While I was in Philadelphia I wrote a blog post about mine and Dan's next fertility treatment -- which was being postponed. While everything in that post was true (my treatment would've started while I was in Philly), I knew that there was a good chance that I wasn't going need another treatment. Why? Because on Saturday, April 6, 2013, I took two positive pregnancy tests!

Yes, while I was writing that blog post I knew that there was a good chance that those tests were telling the truth and that I was pregnant. So, while I wasn't able to get confirmation from my doctor until after my business trip was over, I quickly wrote that blog post to throw all of you off the scent. Sneaky, I know, but I took this unique opportunity to give Dan and I some time to share our baby news with our families and close friends.

If you've been following my infertility journey you're probably wondering, "What happened? I thought you didn't finish your last treatment?"

Yes, you are correct. I didn't finish my last treatment. The week that Dr. S and his team were watching my follicles, they were growing very slowly. On Friday, March 22nd Jennifer (my nurse) thought I'd be ready for my HCG shot (the trigger that releases the egg from the follicle) by Tuesday the 26th -- maaaaybe Monday the 25th.

When I showed up on Monday, March 25th Jennifer was surprised to discover that I had already ovulated. So there was absolutely no point in proceeding with the rest of the fertility treatment. That meant, no HCG shot and no IUI (insemination). Basically at that point, Jennifer told me to cross my fingers and hope that we got pregnant on our own.

At this point, I had a feeling that I was pregnant. Of course it was too early for me to have any symptoms, but my doctor and his team were so baffled by my body's behavior. I sensed God's hands at work -- since He knows my body best and is the master of perfect timing.

Later that week I started to feel some light abdominal cramping and lower back pain. I wondered if I was getting my period, but these cramps felt different. It's difficult to describe, but normally when Aunt Flow is getting ready for her visit I will get these light cramps that rapidly turn into intense, sharp cramps that make my insides feel like they're being twisted, almost to the point of bursting. These cramps, however, stayed light/mild for days. I avoided taking any pain killers just in case I was pregnant.

Then, one day I was sitting at my desk at work when I felt a sudden, sharp pain by my left ovary. It lasted about 5-10 seconds and then passed. I couldn't help but wonder if that was my baby passing through the fallopian tube -- apparently some women can feel.

My doctor wanted me to come in on Monday, April 8th to take a pregnancy test. Since I knew I was going to be in Philadelphia, Jennifer told me I could take an at-home pregnancy test before I go -- since it'll be really close to April 8th.

Dan and I patiently waited until Saturday, April 6th. First thing that morning I took a pregnancy test. I brought the test (upside down so I couldn't see the results) into our bedroom and sat on the bed with Dan. We were both very anxious to see the results.

I slowly flipped it over and looked closely at the test. I saw one bold pink line and a second faded pink line. I held my applause, so to speak, as I told Dan what I saw. He took the test from my hand and examined it.

"I think that means we're pregnant... doesn't it?"

"Two lines is two lines... right?"

"I think it's a positive test! Don't you?"

In that moment, I believe we both knew it was a positive test result, but we wanted a much clearer answer before we started really jumping for joy.

That morning we ran some errands and I picked up a digital pregnancy test. This test had no lines. You either saw "pregnant" or "not pregnant" in digital wording. How much clearer can a test be?

Once again, I sat down on the bed and lovingly looked into Dan's eyes. As I prepared to flip the test over and reveal the results, I felt my excitement grow -- it just HAD to say "pregnant".

Deep breath.

I flipped the test over and there it was, clear as day... PREGNANT!

"That says pregnant! That says pregnant!" I burst with joy as I showed the test to Dan. I could feel myself glowing as I bounced on the bed. "That's says pregnant!"

Dan and I hugged and praised God -- did we ever. Even Jetta wagged her happy, little tail as we had a mini celebration. Dan and I couldn't stop staring at that pregnancy test. It was such a relief to see that single word reveal such a big announcement.

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!

That evening, Dan and I went out to one of our favorite restaurants in Chicago, Geja's. We had planned to go out for dinner before I left for Philadelphia, but we picked a much nicer restaurant in honor of our news. Of course, when we posted on Facebook that we were at Geja's we only said it was because of my upcoming business trip -- I guess that's yet another confession.

While I was in Philadelphia I made a call to my doctor's office to notify them about our positive pregnancy tests. I spoke with Jennifer and she was so excited for us. Before her and hung up I made an appointment to get blood drawn -- to confirm my pregnancy.

Keeping our news a secret until we had confirmation from our doctor was painfully hard. It's especially difficult when so many people know your story and ask for updates. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate everyone's care and concern... I just hated that I couldn't give the whole truth right away.

Shortly after my return home I went in for my blood test. The results were in later that day -- YES, my numbers were certainly high enough to confirm that I was pregnant.

A few days later I had an ultrasound. Let me tell you, there isn't much to see when you're only about five weeks pregnant. Even after zooming in times a million (eh, something like that... close enough), our baby was nothing more than a piece of lint on a screen. But he/she was there! It was an incredible sight.

Next, came the really fun part -- sharing our news with loved ones!

Whenever I was about to share our news with family/friends, I would rehearse what I was going to say over and over in my head. I tried to break the news in a fun and unique way every time I made the announcement. My heart would race when I would hesitate to bring up the news -- I wanted everything to go right so I can create a perfect memory for everyone involved. Once I found the right moment to share our news I felt like I was leaping off a building. The adrenaline would kick into high gear and I would think to myself, "There's no turning back now... say it now and don't mess up!"

Every time the news came out, I could see and feel my hands shaking -- that's adrenaline for you. Who thought sharing such an announcement could give someone such a rush?!

As many of you already know, any big news shared in person cannot be posted on Facebook until the one with the news posts first. I had big plans for how we would do our official Facebook announcement and I'll admit that as the word got out I was a little nervous that someone would slip and post on my Facebook wall "Congratulations!" or "Can't wait to meet your little one!" before Dan and I had a chance to make the announcement ourselves. Thankfully we had no public wall posts revealing our news. Phew!

On February 6, 2013, Dan and I booked a spontaneous trip to Orlando, Florida with my parents -- airfare was incredibly low. While we anticipated the idea of having a baby on the way, while in Florida, we certainly didn't consider it a done deal. Sure enough, I ventured to Florida as an expecting mother.

Since Dan and I are big Disney fans (especially me), we decided to use the unique opportunity to do our big and final reveal in front of Cinderella's castle at the Magic Kingdom.

On Thursday, May 30, 2013, while holding up an adorable Mickey onesie that Dan got me for Mother's Day, we smiled as pictures were taken with various cameras -- one of which was my cell phone. I didn't post the photo right away. Dan and I decided to wait for a little bit, until we were both ready.

A few hours passed and it was lunch time. I took out my phone and prepared our official Facebook baby announcement. I was 11 weeks and 6 days pregnant, so I was just about to start my second trimester. The timing was perfect!

This was our announcement...

"Dan and I are very excited to announce that we're expecting our first Mouseketeer in December! Praise God!"

I posted the photo (above) along with our announcement and I felt a sudden rush of excitement. Mine and Dan's phones were blowing up with photo "likes" and comments congratulating us on our baby news. I was in absolute awe of how emotional some of our friends were when the read our news. Our friends were cheering out loud, crying tears of joy, and praising God for his blessing upon us. It was very encouraging to read so many beautiful messages.

The support from our family and friends has given us so much strength throughout our infertility journey. I can't stress it enough... prayer is powerful! Ever since I opened up and started sharing our story I have felt so much love and so much strength from above. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us.

While sharing my news with family and friends has been fun and exciting, I still do my best to stay sensitive to those who are still wandering on their infertility journey. How does one stay sensitive when you're filled with so much joy?

Even when I was on my infertility journey I still felt joy and happiness for those who had children or were expecting children. Like I've mentioned before, if I wasn't in the mood to deal with seeing babies and happy parents, I simply stayed off the computer and prayed.

Obviously, one can't doge babies and parents forever. That is where prayer is so important! Dan and I both prayed for joy, peace, patient, and strength. As time passed I could feel myself becoming more and more accepting of baby announcements and expecting parents. My joy for these babies and parents felt completely genuine and I was grateful that the bitterness seem to be melting away -- or just showed up a lot less frequently. It's not their fault I'm struggling with infertility and it's certainly not fair for me to make them feel guilty for feeling joy just because I struggle with infertility.

Now, sometimes joy, peace, patients, and strength can fade when you're constantly put in your place, so to speak. For example, there are some parents who can't help but flaunt their baby news and/or their children. When conversation simply revolves around nothing but their ultrasounds, cravings, and how they plan to decorate the baby's room... well, I could only take so much before my heart would start to ache. To someone who is struggling with infertility it's like hearing expecting parents say, "We're having a baby and you're not..." over and over and over. I don't want to be like that.

Having a baby and having children is a very special time and parents have every right to be excited and share their news, but honestly, any subject, catch phrase, song, or quote can get old when put on constant repeat. While I certainly enjoy discussing my baby, I try not to go overboard and appear obsessed -- I do have other things I'd like to talk about.

I look forward to sharing my pregnancy journey with each of you, but don't be surprised if I venture on to different topics once in a while. My blog has been around since March 2008 and it has always been random.

For now, I'll close with two prayer requests:

1. Pray for Baby Nelly -- Nelly is a nickname for our last name, Nelson. As of today, our due date is December 12, 2013. While most of my morning sickness and lack of energy seem to be behind me, I know that we've still got a long road ahead of us. Please pray for a healthy pregnancy -- for both mom and baby.

2. Pray for those who are struggling with infertility. My heart still aches for those who travel on this unpredictable journey. It's depressing and I wish no one had to deal with it. Still, infertility is out there and countless couples are dealing with it. Please continue to pray for them.

Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of mine and Dan's infertility journey. Now that we've moved on to the next chapter (a much more exciting and happy chapter), I look forward to sharing my joy with each of you.